#wait does tumblr still do that thing where they don't show posts with links in them

[citrus-cactus]

Citrus' Art Summary 2024!

I made my own template this year, based on filling in all the squares of a 5x7 grid. Not sure I recommend this method; it was difficult to both place pieces in roughly chronological order and make the layout varied & interesting, and I feel like the final result is too easily divisible into (uneven) quadrants, which I wanted to avoid. Ah well, maybe I'll think up a better system next year! :)

This is a bit of an odd year for an art summary, because while I created something every month and I'm legitimately proud of SO MANY of these, I kind of... stopped publishing my art to the Internet in the latter part of the year. There are various reasons for this. I'm not sure all of them are good, especially given the above statement about being proud of everything I made on the whole. But I'll talk about that beneath the cut, since that's where I usually ruminate about the year. There are also links to full pieces (where they exist) at the very end.

***

First, the positive! I branched out a lot this year (or at least... continued the trends that were starting to form in 2023). I did a lot of uh... darker/more serious art? Which I have enjoyed immensely, though I know it can be a bit of a tone whiplash compared to most of my finished art from past years. I love cute, happy things!! But I have these other dimensions that have long been in need of exercising. My favorite thing that I did is probably the first Bad End Takuma piece from January, which was for Survive Week. I just... really love how it came together. It surprised me every step of the way, and it was full of happy accidents (despite the subject matter! Lol). I still look at it and am like "wow! I made that!!" But I really like October's piece too. It's an illustration for a fanfic I'm (still) working on, and it gives me emotions. Justice for minor characters. Justice for minor characters for 1000 years!!! XD

Besides fanart, I made some other things! I published a secret fanfic (it's absolutely not hard to find if you're willing to do a little searching, but there's no way I'm going to link to it ever! Sorryyyyy! :3). I spent two weeks in Iceland, and somehow that inspired a fair bit of artistic endeavors XD September shows a small sample of a digital collage that includes several photos my spouse and I took (as well as some other stuff. The full piece partially communicates my somewhat-cynical thoughts about being a tourist in Iceland). November shows a drawing from an 8-page zine about hiking the Laugavegur Trail, which was an amazing experience! I also cross-stitched a Christmas ornament for a family member this month! None of these were intended for an Internet audience, but they were all fun and somewhat different to do!

So... yeah, the whole "not sharing art" thing. It started because I was... kind of frustrated with how few notes I felt I was getting compared to how hard I felt I had worked on some of these pieces? Which is... I mean, I know it's silly. More effort =/= more notes, especially since I'm focusing my creative efforts on such tiny little niches of the Digimon fandom (sadly, Appmon and Digimon Survive are just not that popular, especially compared to Adventure!), so any "engagement" on that art is going to be low, because the audience is just not that large to begin with. Plus, activity on Tumblr just seems to be tailing off in general. And I GET that numbers on posts shouldn't matter. I really, super-duper get that! But when something you worked really hard on and are excited to see people respond to only gets a handful of notes... well, it does kind of sting a bit, or makes me feel like I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up about it being received well. And then I end up waiting with baited breath for the usernames associate I with the fandom to react to it. If I don't see them in my notes, does it mean they hate it? Or did they just miss it? It's not something I have any control over, so why does it matter to me?

And it's NOT to say I don't appreciate the notes and comments I DO get. I appreciate them so much!! I just hate knowing that my worth as an artist has become tangled up in this notice-me-senpai attitude I seem to have created for myself. I hate caring about numbers (I know I should not care about them!), and I hate how much I seem to care about numbers. Posting used to bring joy, but now it brings... I don't know, anxiety and entitlement mixed with disappointment, I guess? So I decided to remove it from of my art process. I took a purposeful hiatus from The Numbers and caring about who sees my art to really just create for myself, for the first time in many years... and overall, I think it was a healthy way to hit "reset" on myself and my ego's ravenous desires.

But now... well, I don't exactly know to proceed.

There are things I do want to post, that I want other people to see! But the situation on Tumblr and on the Internet at large really isn't any different, and I'm not sure it's different in my brain, either. Can I continue to not care about The Numbers if I put them back in my life? I hope so, but I'm not certain. On top of that, I'm doing a lot of of art for a different fandom, and I'm still unpacking... well, let's call it what it is: a seemingly unending supply of middle school shame that I feel about Liking This Thing Too Much, which (apparently) never really went away. Yikes! This is a "me" problem, it has ALWAYS been a "me" problem. So that's a fun feeling to have (...not :/). Plus it's just... idk, different fandom, different people, different opinions flying around, I've been away from it for so long, do I really belong here?? But of course I do (even when I feel like I'm being so incredibly cringe... looking at you, August). I bring my own unique viewpoints to all the fandoms that I'm a part of (as does everyone!), and by sharing our ideas and stories and passions, we create our own community and extend the lives of the things we love. I do want to continue to be a part of that, but getting back on that horse is hard for me right now! I took a posting hiatus for health, but it also made me that much more shy. I have been thinking about my Return to Posting Art for months at this point, which again feels silly, because it's so easy to hit "post" on one of the many things I have saved up. I probably will go back to it... I'm just not exactly sure when. Maybe when I have something Digimon-related to share. Digimon is comfortable and safe. It's the only fandom I've felt like I really belong in. Sharing anything else feels... too personal somehow, and also too unknown. All of these have been thorny problems to grapple with, and I'm still working my way through them, carefully and slowly.

So yeah. Phew! If you made it through all that existential angst, you deserve a medal! But I can't give you one, so here are those links to the full pieces that I promised:

JANUARY: Bad End Takuma #1 ("Cooperation")

FEBRUARY: Survive Week Day 5 ("Villains")

MARCH: Dark Ages Gargirls

APRIL: HaruShinkai-Daily 4th Anniversary/100 Follower omake

MAY: Bad End Takuma #2 ("Darkness & Loss")

JUNE: Happy Birthday, Haru! (2024)

JULY: OC drawn on iPad

OCTOBER: “True” fanfic illustration

[lacefuneral]

ok i've seen some posts about the tumblr alternative cohost but none that were actually helpful so!

(disclaimer: i am very new to this website. users who have been there longer can and should chime in with additions and/or corrections)

Cohost Introduction Post

What is cohost?

Cohost is a fledgling website that is essentially a tumblr clone, but with its own culture and site-specific features. It is also very much a work in progress. You are encouraged to talk in the cohost forum to suggest changes for devs, report bugs, and upvote other people's suggestions. This website WILL grow and change over time. And as such, I do not know if/when the information I share here will be outdated. Edit: To answer an ask I received, anyone can join cohost without an invite. It used to be invite-only. It is not this way anymore.

Is "adult content" allowed there?

Yes. Cohost is not on the app store, meaning that it is not subject to Apple's specifications. You can post illustrations, writing, and photographs (cohost does not support any video formats at this time, just gifs). Cohost has an elaborate filtering and trigger warning system (moreso than tumblr), and you can disable adult content for your entire account or for individual tags. I actually don't engage with the adult content at all on there. Visual CSEM (both real and fictional) is specifically forbidden (although frankly I think the guidelines could be stricter wrt written content. Still, does seem to handle this better than AO3 does, going as far to say that written content about real minors is forbidden.)

How are minors protected?

The minimum age to join cohost is 16, and requires proof of parental permission to join. Users who are under 18 are automatically age-gated and cannot view adult content.

If cohost isn't on the app store, how is it used?

You can, of course, use cohost on a computer, but it is designed with mobile in mind. Opening the website on any IOS browser, clicking "share", and then "add to home screen" will install an app for you to use. The same can be done on an android. There is a guide here.

How does cohost work?

First, you create an account. Then you wait for approximately two days (read: weekdays) for the account to be activated. This is done to prevent spam bots. In the meantime, edit your profile. List some interests, your pronouns, your other social media links. Give yourself an icon. Note: icon and banner file sizes are small. You may need to shrink and compress images.

After the two days are up, make your first post! Write a basic introduction (with what you feel comfortable you feel sharing) and list some interests you like, maybe some hobbies, media, etc. And then tag this post with "#welcome to cohost". This will let existing members know that someone new has joined, and they may initiate conversation and/or follow you.

Next, go to the search and type in "The Cohost Global Feed" and click on the tag. Bookmark this tag. This is essentially one giant community space where you can find random users. (There is currently some discourse on the website as to whether this tag existing is a "bad thing" or not because "cohost isn't supposed to have a global tag". Just ignore that lol). Next, go back to search and type in things you like. TV shows, maybe. Video games. Music. Anything. See if people have posted in the tags. Follow them. Comment on their stuff. Click "like" to bookmark the post if you want to.

Most crucially, make sure that you bookmark the actual tag so you can look in that tag again later without having to manually type it each and every time. Also, you get a feed called "bookmarked tags" which allows you to scroll through all of them at once, which replaces the "for you" feature other websites have.

You can "share" a post (called "rebug" in user slang) which serves the same purpose as a reblog on tumblr. In a rebug, you can add your own tags or comment in the body of the post. Cohost users do not talk in tags as much as tumblr users - they tend to prefer to speak in the body of a rebug, or in the comment section (replies). At this time, you cannot view all reblogs. But you can view all comments in the comment section. Any post that is rebugged will preserve the tags of the OP, with any additional tags added being attributed to you. Rebugs are named after the website mascot Eggbug, a purple bee-like insect.

Posts are called "chosts" - and shitposting is called "shitchosting." Two examples of global shitposting tags are "#css crimes" - which is when a person does goofy things with the HTML/CSS editor to make colorful text, fake chat windows, and such - and "#shitchosting" which is a general shitposting tag. I've also seen people use tags like "#random".

If a post makes you laugh, check out the OP's profile. See if they post frequently, and if you have any common interests. If you realize you want to block or mute someone instead, you can.

You can send asks just like on tumblr, but your inbox must be manually opened first. So remember to do that.

How do I look at my own blog?

This is one of my gripes about the UI. You would think, intuitively, you would click here (at the top of the screen). But you would be wrong!

It is ACTUALLY under the sidebar menu, called "Profile." And I'm not the only one to to complain about this. (To get back to your dashboard, by the way, you click on the cohost logo.)

Are there sideblogs?

Yes! Each sidepage (sideblog) has its OWN set of likes AND followed pages (blogs). This allows you to easily switch between multiple sets of dashboards. A lot of users use this to have a SFW dashboard and an adult content dashboard. But it works like tumblr, too. You can have a side page/dashboard for whatever you'd like. Maybe one of your pages is for programming. Maybe another is for photography. You switch between your pages by clicking the arrow next to your icon/username at the top of the screen. ("Ohhhhh.... THAT'S what that's for.")

What's the userbase on there like?

Mostly programmers. Trans people. Furry artists. Plural systems. Furry trans plural programmers. Certainly a lot of shitposters. The website is trans-run and, as such, has zero tolerance for TERFs. Everyone seems pretty friendly from what I can tell. And there's very much a culture of "follow someone randomly based on their vibes" that doesn't happen as much on tumblr. Tumblr is more like "I really like this TV show, I'm going to follow 40 blogs about just this interest." Because the cohost community is so much smaller, there is a lot less content overall, especially fandom content. You can't follow 40 fandom pages because your fandom tag has a total of 3 posts, all made by one person approximately a year ago (well. for me anyway).

Cohost, then, actually has much more in common with real-life socialization. You seek out people with interests that may be very different from your own, and to find a common interest is very exciting! Unlike tumblr, you are encouraged to tag as much as possible. This allows your posts to be seen, to find common interests. And, of course, don't forget to look in "#Welcome To Cohost" too! You may find some new friends there.

What file formats can I post in?

Currently, I am aware of basic image formats working (like jpeg, png) animated gifs, and mp3s. You currently cannot upload videos to cohost. I believe the reason is not related to server costs, but rather as a way to curb the uploading of copyrighted content.

How does cohost make money?

There are no ads, and yet, as far as I am aware, cohost is operating comfortably. There is, however, an entirely optional "cohost plus" that is $5 USD a month. Currently, there are a few perks, but not enough to convince me.

What if I think something about cohost should change?

Cohost has a forum where users can submit ideas for features and other users can discuss/upvote those ideas.

Here is a list of posts made for newcomers to read:

[io-lu-art]

just a looong ramble analysing and rethinking Rey's character and turning whatever conclusions I get to into my headcanon without changing any plot points in TFA because I don't have the energy for that....

First things first. With everything I write here and publish on my blog from now on I refuse to believe that TROS ever existed. Everyone is free to have their personal opinions as long as they don't harass or hate on anyone, and this is mine. Almost every choice in that movie has left me scarred, even up til now, 4 years after its release. I thought I can ignore it, like any other healthy human being, but - oh boy, I cannot. If you are interested in reading another ramble on that, here's the post.

Since I am writing my own take on what could happen after TLJ (you may call it a fanfiction, I'm gonna call it a fanscript since that's gonna be its format), this post serves the purpose of getting my head clear around what's the deal with Rey, analysing, and lying down a solid foundation for my WIP. The story I'm writing has barely reached the end of Act I (out of III) at the moment I am composing this commentary, and I constantly notice that I get stuck with Rey's character every time I have to think about her for different reasons I will address down below.

I will make some rewrites as I see fit and necessary along the way for her character to make sense to me. All rewrites are in Tumblr's

chat style

This post will be linked to my AO3 fancifction as a reference for people to understand how I treat her character as soon as that one will be finished... *clears her throat* ...ANYWAY-

Let's have a look at Rey, shall we?

Rey's introduction.

When we first meet Rey, there is already a lot we get to learn about her. She's a scavenger. On a pretty much deserted desert planet. Water and food are scarce. She gathers parts during the day to sell them in exchange for food rations.

She has no friends, no family. She's lonely. And has been for quite a while. And yet, though hard, it looks like a pretty peaceful and stable life. If it were significantly different, we would have gotten introduction scenes of her battling some gangs or other scavengers for parts or something. But instead we were provided with beautiful, peaceful cinematography and John Williams' incredible score.

She manages. She manages because she has to and has never known to do otherwise. This on its own is already a very solid introduction. And it becomes even more powerful as we are provided with additional context later on, as she tells BB-8 that she's waiting for her family.

We know who she is, what she does and what she wants. No more questions, right?

Well, this is where it gets confusing, at least for me: there's one shot in Rey's introduction which always leaves me puzzled about her actual wants. It's the moment she puts on the rebel pilot helmet.

Maybe I am reading too much into it, but it feels like it kinda wants to draw parallels to Luke Skywalker in ANH? What exactly is the purpose of this shot? Is she putting on the helmet just for fun? Is it to show that she is still a kid inside? She seems to enjoy herself. Is it to show us that she maybe wants to be a pilot...? The gesture on its own is too little information to imply that, let alone that she already is a very skilled one, so probably no. Then, is it, perhaps, to show us that she dreams of more? Like Luke, who wanted to get off the planet that is "farthest away from the bright center of the universe"?

The interpretations, especially when looking at it in context to the rest of the movie could go on and on and on.

Quick detour.

The reason it works so well with Luke's character is because from the very beginning, with everything he does and says, it is perfectly clear that he doesn't want to stay on Tatooine. It's his only want when we first meet him.

Luke has friends who tell him about the galaxy. He seeks adventure.

And he's very impatient about it.

Everything he says basically SCREAMS how much he hates it there.

Now back to Rey.

Am I expecting Rey to show the same interest in getting off Jakku with the same attitude and level of energy as Luke, should that have been what TFA was going for? No, of course not. They are (supposed to be) two different characters after all. But I do believe that, given the setup, that helmet scene leaves too much room for confusing and unnecessary interpretation. (More so because I am trying my best to avoid nostalgia bait wherever I can.)

I am not denying the fact that she wouldn't have heard about the wider galaxy, that she wouldn't wonder about what it would feel like, being out there. People travel. And with people traveling, so do stories. So if you want to hint at that, do it subtly, all the while keeping the focus on her biggest want.

I might really just be reading too much into it, but still, in my humble opinion, a way to solve this confusion is cutting out her interaction with the pilot helmet completely. Let me demonstrate.

Inside her home we already see this self-made rebel pilot puppet. Just like the puppet lying around, instead of having her pick it up and putting it on,

the helmet remains part of the environment, stuck in the sand. There could even be a close-up on it as Rey puts down her empty plate next to it when she has finished eating if you really want to show it. She then rests her arms on her knees and looks up into the sky, following the ship that has just departed from the far outpost into the high atmosphere until it disappears. Waiting.

What is achieved by changing the interaction with the helmet is that it keeps her wants just as clear as Luke's. Luke wants adventure. She wants her family back. Period.

...I rewatched this scene after writing these paragraphs and yes, I admit, in the end it happens so fast that one could probably just let it pass and interpret it as Rey being very bored and using it as entertainment to wait out the days. But even if it were just that, the effects this little tweak would have on the following scenes is quite interesting to look at nonetheless.

The tweak I am going with from now on: Having her not actively wonder about possible adventures at all. She doesn't believe those stories to actually be true, because she's never allowed herself to. She's never allowed herself to actually want to ever leave Jakku.

What would it mean for her characterisation? It would make her slightly more serious and grounded. And the movie (except for the helmet scene) actually already treats her that way. Notice how she, while fixing BB-8's antenna, takes a moment to look at him before asking:

She's never seen such a droid before. At least not in such good condition. So, of course, she's curious. But when BB-8 says it's classified, she only laughs about it. "Classified? Really? Me too. Big secret," as if to say, haha, yeah, right. She rejects that possibility. And she doesn't bother asking any further, because when she is confronted with the choice to go and explore, she is reminded of her promise to herself, which is that she will wait for her family until they return.

Now, here is where I insert some very subtle "rewriting". When Rey first meets Finn, she is suspicious of him...

...and should actually remain suspicious,

instead of admiring him and falling into this, let's call it, "excited, fangirly smile"...

She doesn't know him. She has no reason to trust him. Instead, the tone of this line should be one that reflects her emotions as it slowly gets to her that those stories she's been hearing about might actually have some truth to them, that there might actually be a wider world out there. So make her be gradually interested.

Huh. This man I just forcefully hit to the ground, a Resistance fighter, knows about BB-8 and his classified information. What are the odds of that?

"So you're with the Resistance?" Rey asks suspiciously, looking down at the man.

The man stands up, brushes the sand and dust off his jacket and answers, "Obviously. Yes, I am. I am with the Resistance."

Rey frowns, "I've never met a Resistance fighter before," scanning him with her eyes. Why would there be any on Jakku? Nothing ever happens here.

"Oh, this is what we look like, some of us. Others look different."

Rey cannot help a little smile at his strange attitude. She looks back to where BB-8 rolled off to. Puzzled, she tells him, "BB-8 says he's on a secret mission. He has to get back to your base..." Even hearing herself pronounce that out loud feels so surreal to her. None of this makes any sense. Why-

"Apparently he has a map that leads to Luke Skywalker and everyone's after it."

What? "Luke Skywalker?" she asks, confounded.

CUT TO ACTION.

Whether she wants it or not, the plot forces her into the stories she's been hearing of. You don't want to believe they are real? They're real, all right. She has no choice but to run and get along. And later, she does get more and more interested, specifically when she meets Han Solo, the legend himself. Her whole beliefs turn upside down. It's exciting and she embraces it. Why? She's made a promise to BB-8 that she will get him home, and those things kinda come hand in hand.

Rey's physicality.

Rey is very fast to jump into action. She doesn't think twice about what she's doing. She just acts. Because that's how she's learned to survive all this time on her own. When she but hears BB-8 struggling in the distant sand dunes the first time they meet, she immediately reacts and goes to help (which also shows how compassionate she is towards people - and droids - in need of help).

And she's incredibly stubborn about it. If I may even word it like this: it's something she carries with pride.

So she's a good fighter. And I have but one request: DO. NOT. FORGET. THAT. HER. FIGHTING. STYLE. IS. ROUGH. AND. DIRTY. AND. HAS. NO. TECHNIQUE. WHATSOEVER. WHILE. THE. STORY. PROGRESSES. OK? Ok. What else? Ah, yes. Piloting. I don't know which of the two aspects has brought more uproar in the SW community, with the addition of the Force to these 2 points making people call her a Mary Sue, her being overpowered and so on. Let's have a look at that.

Rey's piloting skills.

She obviously knows her way around the Falcon. And it's plausible. "This ship hasn't flown in years!" It's been there for quite a while. Maybe she has had the opportunity to sneak onto it once. What about her flying skills? Well, that takeoff definitely had me worried. At this point I am even amazed this ship is still all in one piece. Which has me thinking... just a thought...

While trying to get those TIEs off their tail, Rey damages a visibly big part of the Falcon's exterior. "Ups," she comments, hastily checking the controls. Ok... The ship still flies. All good.

"What was that?" Finn calls from the gunner position, seriously worried for their lives.

"Nothing to worry about!" Rey quickly shouts back. All in all, the flight is messy as hell, and the Falcon needs some heavy repairs. But they still manage to get out.

"Nice shooting!"

"That was some flying! How did you do that?"

"Thanks! I don't know! I've flown some ships, but I've never left the planet."

(This is me reacting to their dialogue in the new context:) Yeah, guys, good work! You've almost destroyed the Falcon in the process, but you're alive, so I guess it's fiiiiiine.

What am I going for here? Adding to their level of expectations, which are... pretty low, and hopefully Rey's likability.

And then, later, Han is horrified of the state his ship is in, "Who did that?" Rey doesn't answer his question, but instead immediately offers her help, "I can fix that for you," feeling a bit ashamed of handling the ship of a legend this carelessly. And Han is... well, Han about it.

When would the Falcon get those repairs, you might ask? Eh, *hand gesture* there's plenty of time on D'Quar for that while they discuss how to blow up the third Deathst- *clears her throat* Starkiller Base. And obviously it's not gonna be Rey doing those repairs.

This addition tones down her abilities, puts more focus on her skills as a scavenger and makes her more relatable. I'd also argue that it puts more weight to her decision to eventually decline Han's offer to join the crew because of her wants. You see, once immersed into the real thing, the stories becoming true, meeting the legends, she becomes genuinely curious. She asks questions. Why did Luke leave? What fight? She gets incredibly excited when Han offers her a job. And yet, despite all, she still wants to go back.

Nevertheless, Rey displays pretty amazing piloting skills under those stressful circumstances on Jakku. After all, flying the Falcon is....

Her instincts are implacable. One might even say that she*

She just isn't aware of it yet. It is not until some scenes with Han and the rathtars later that we get the first hint.

The Force.

Now I might be wrong, but I have a theory, which is that the piloting performance under high pressure on Jakku might have been it. The Awakening.

The Force calls to Rey through Luke's lightsaber. And she listens to it, not knowing what will follow. She experiences the Force vision, and is horrified.

"That lightsaber was Luke's, and his father's before him, and now, it calls to you!"

"I have to get back to Jakku." Again.

Even when Maz tells her, "You already know the truth. Whomever your waiting for on Jakku, they are never coming back,"

she still refuses to believe that.

Tears run down her cheeks

and she shakes her head. No.

"But there's someone who still could."

Rey frowns. What is Maz implying there? "Luke?" she asks and realises what it's leading up to, and doesn't like it. Her emotions are a mess. She gulps back and keeps shaking her head as Maz speaks.

"The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. [...] The light. Feel it. [...] The lightsaber. Take it."

Rey doesn't want to hear of it. Any of it.

"I am never touching that thing again!"

Rey just witnessed complete horror. She is in denial. Keep in mind her clear wants from the beginning of the movie. Ideally her want for her parents to come back should be replaced by the character fulfilling her needs at the end of her arc. But we're not nearly there yet. What Maz tells her about the Force completely contradicts Rey's experiences. She cannot just accept the truth. And how does she handle it? She runs away. She's terrified.

She wants to go back to the way things were before any of this mess started. But the plot doesn't let her run away that easily. It knows she has to face her fears, one being her fear of the Force and one the fear of perhaps never making it back to Jakku ever again.

It forces her further into these situations, making it impossible for her to get out of them. She's trapped. Literally and figuratively. And fighting her way out won't work this time, the one ability she always relied on to save herself. It's her darkest moment. And if that were not enough, Kylo Ren, this stranger, this man inside that mask, the man from her vision, shoves all her insecurities right into her face.

"And Han Solo." Rey jolts up. Either out of fear of possibly betraying Han and slipping, giving away a location, or out of rage that Kylo has gone too far into her personal space. Either way, this rage gives her some strength to oppose him. "You feel like he's the father you never had. He would have disappointed you."

"Get out of my head!" He backs away for his own reasons, not wanting to think any more of his father, but still holds onto her mind. Rey does all she can to withstand him, and the longer she does, the more time it gives her to understand what is going on.

And Kylo senses it. What he's trying to do here is not working. Concern washes over his face, which makes him lose control over the situation. The connection opens, inviting Rey to tap into his mind. She's inside his head. Now she understands. She understands she can use this power on him, too. So she does.

And there it is. She's strong with the Force.

And that's intentional. Why? For reasons we discover in TLJ and numerous other fanfictions. (TROS? w-what's that-)

She has found a way out of the situation. Now, has she ever heard of Jedi mind tricks? Maybe? But remember what she just discovered: She just tapped into Kylo's mind. So she tries that again on the stormtrooper. Because when she knows how to act, she just does. She's always been confident in her physical abilities and skills. Why would she have to treat this new power any different? And luckily it works, after 3 tries.

And that's fine. Let's move on. Kylo kills Han. Explosions.

Notice this. Even though she knows she now has these new powers, the same powers Kylo has, she still draws her blaster at him after calling him a monster. She acts on emotion and choses the quick, familiar way.

I actually like to believe that Rey really doesn't know what the Force is and how it works, at all. How would she? Yes, Maz did tell her about it, but how do Force-powers manifest in people? She's never seen anyone use it before, upon meeting Kylo Ren. So in every scene she does use it, she just copies Kylo. That's the only reference she has. Remember how proud she is of her physical abilities. And she is so naive that she just goes and tries it for herself, without thinking of whether it will work out or not. And it works out for her. Because, again, she is strong in the Force.

It's true that her flaw, her naivety, is not really addressed in TFA. It never really backlashes on her. And, to be completely honest, I have no idea how to make room for that without some heavier rewrites yet. But maybe it's not necessary. TLJ takes care of that. TFA just introduces us to Rey as a character after all.

Now, is the force-summoned lightsaber making her overpowered? If you interpret it as "Kylo couldn't get that thing out the snow but Rey could," then yes, yes it is. BUT, if you see it as "while Rey is observing the fight, she sees Kylo trying to summon it, so she copies him, the way she copied him with the mind-tapping, and reaches for it the moment Kylo conveniently gets it out of the snow for her," I don't think it is, though I do agree that in order for the second version to be true, the scene happens too fast with too little shots to explain it. *OP takes a breath* So, here is what I suggest:

Kylo reaches out for the lightsaber. SHOT of the lightsaber in the snow, fidgeting slightly. BACK TO Kylo, pulling anew. BACK TO the lightsaber. It gets free. CUT. Another shot of it flying through the air towards the camera.

SHOT on Rey witnessing that - she is already on her feet again - and immediately reaching for it as well, outstretching her arm towards it.

SHOT of Kylo as he feels the momentum of his pull shift and dodges out of the way. The lightsaber flies past him, into Rey's hand.

Rey has always been fast to react to action. So it would make sense for her to be able to do that. Ok. Now to the fight itself.

*sighs* I don't even know where to start. ...One thing's for sure. Kylo at this point is pretty much destroyed emotionally from having killed his father, but he's still big and strong and aggressive in his movements. Rey, on the other hand, kinda seamlessly knows how to handle a lightsaber, which... is definitely not believable at all.

Let's step back for a moment. Why do we have this fight? Rey needs to get Finn and herself out of there and Kylo is pretty much in the way, so she wants to eliminate the problem. And what does Kylo want? Sure, he is interested in Rey and her raw powers which eventually adds up to them being equals in the Force, so he doesn't want to kill her...

But he also wants that lightsaber, doesn't he?

(God, I am looking at this fight to find any clues and I'm just sitting here, elbows on the table, resting my head in my hands, massaging my temples, wondering, "why the hell are there so many cuts in that fight scene?") (I am no expert in fight choreography, so bare with me as I try to make this work.)

Rey is the one who draws first at him.

She has never wielded a lightsaber before, but knows how to handle a staff... so she treats the lightsaber like a staff within its limitations.

Because remember, HER. STYLE. OF. FIGHTING. IS. ROUGH. AND. DIRTY. AND. HAS. NO. TECHNIQUE. WHATSOEVER. So, pretend we have some well thought out choreography in this part.

Kylo blocks her with ease. Rey is frustrated. The lightsaber feels heavy and difficult to handle. It doesn't take long for Kylo to

get her cornered at the edge of the newly formed cliff.

"You need a teacher! I could show you the ways of the Force!" he exclaims.

Rey considers, out of breath, "The Force?" Rey takes a moment as her mind connects the dots. So that's what these new powers are? Kylo watches her, waits for her to make a move. No time for pondering about the Force any more. Rey moves. Kylo LETS her duck and free herself from his block. She runs, backs away from the crater. He follows her. He outstretches his arm. Rey is stuck. She's literally petrified. Again. Kylo draws nearer. He twirls his saber, now holding it backwards (you know, Ahsoka style). "No," she hisses through her teeth, struggling. Heavy breaths. She closes her eyes. When he almost touches her hand holding the lightsaber, "No!" she RESISTS his force-cage and GOES FREE.

Because, you see, even though Maz told her to "close her eyes" and "feel the light", Rey has never done that before, and when under stress, I do believe she would rather choose a quick, familiar way to get out of the situation. The only thing she knows how to do with the Force at this point is to copy or resist Kylo. She wouldn't know how to to draw power from the Force, yet. She'll have plenty of time to learn that from Luke later, should she survive this fight, so we better continue.

Kylo stumbles back as she draws at him. Rey goes for a swing to hit from above, which Kylo manages to block last second, bringing his lighsaber up from behind his back. As their lightsabers are crossed again he quickly reaches for her right hand, which is holding Luke's saber, with his left hand and moves it aside to his right towards the ground, using his crossguard for more momentum to force her down. He steps his left foot accordingly to keep himself stable. Rey cries out from the unexpected movement. They are kinda back to back. His left shoulder against her right one. The position is uncomfortable. He squeezes Rey's wrist. Rey cries out in pain. Then, she realises how close they are.

Time for some close combat, ladies and gentlemen.

She gives in and lets go of the lightsaber, lets it fall to the ground. Kylo releases her to reach for the fallen lightsaber. But before he can pick it up, Rey KICKS his left hand away with her right heel and PUNCHES his JAW with her right elbow from below. Kylo's head rocks back. He stumbles backwards from the harsh impact, causing him to turn his back to her in order to catch himself. Rey summons Luke's lightsaber back into her left hand, and ignites it. When Kylo turns back to his opponent, left and unprotected side first, Rey is ready to stab him in his left shoulder.

Kylo stumbles back some more, she brings her hands together for another strike leftwards, he barely blocks it, he stumbles back some more, it leaves his posture open, Rey strikes again, rightwards, lower this time, wounding his leg, he falls to his knee, leaving Rey the final blow to provide him with his scar.

The reason I started writing this entire ramble in the first place is a conversation I had with my friend which brought up the fact that Rey should be able to beat Kylo by using her rough, unpredictable moves. Shout out to my friend who, bless her, is willing to listen to and survives every one of my sw rants and who pointed this out in the first place!

Is this a good fightscene now? I have no idea. I hope so? I do have it very clear in my head now though, so I might go and have some fun storyboarding it in the nearest future.

You know the rest. The ground splits, she runs to Finn, Chewie picks them up. . . .

There are some more moments which I believe need some tweaks, like the meeting with Leia, which is just so unfair to Chewie, really, but if I go on and on about this, I would end up changing the entire movie, which I do not have the strength for atm. This ramble was supposed to be about Rey and her alone, so I am done here.

I guess in the end Rey does realise her needs and is able to let her wants aside for a bit longer and focus her hope on actually helping the Resistance and get Luke. Hope that, with finding Luke, she will get to understand these new powers. I do feel like the movie could have provided us with a more emotionally rich reactive scene to the fight and her abilities, and generally just more of those, but then, what am I expecting from a JJ Abrams film? We have Rian for that.

My conclusion? I'm bad with conclusions and summaries, so here you have it, my take on Rey by only adding to the existing dialogue, changing some attitudes here and there, adding a scene, and changing the fight sequence at the end and how she treats the Force.

I do have a clearer understanding of her character now, which was the entire purpose of this ramble, so I guess, mission accomplished. Congratulations on having made it till the end. It was a long ride. I did consider splitting this beast into 2 parts, but while writing this, at one point I just decided to fully commit to it.

You are totally free to, of course, agree with me and stay tuned for my WIP fanscript or disagree, never read through this thing ever again, ignore it and leave it to die on Tumblr's graveyard.

Before you ask, because I also considered doing that just for the sake of having fun with GIFs on Tumblr (all text gifs are taken from YARN btw), I will not do a post like this on TLJ, since I have no problems with Rey's character there at all. Props to Rian Johnson at this point, for managing to make sense of her with what TFA gave us.

[highladyluck]

Season 2, Episode 8 Post-blog:

So I did not liveblog this episode since I had friends over to do a watch party, but here's everything I remembered that I wanted to talk about!

As far as I can tell, the two Seanchan sul'dam that got collared are not going to be found with the collar on them. (Not sure if Renna is dead or if Egwene chose to uncollar her, but either way she's not chained up in a basement with the collar on waiting to be discovered by her peers.) I was thinking at first that this had major implications for the rest of the Seanchan storyline. But really, it only has implications for Suroth, since in the books Suroth (and Alwhin, who is already her Voice in the show) sit on the information until Egeanin discovers it separately. Egeanin can still be the first Seanchan to know and do anything about it. I do think this lack of a dangling thread, Suroth's ship being blown up, and the way it's hard to get actors to come back seasons later make it more likely we've seen the last of Suroth. I would be happy to eat my words, though! Also, Egwene, Nyneave, and Elayne all know you can collar a sul'dam, and possibly Mat, Rand, and Perrin will soon as well if anyone remembers to communicate this information, so any one of them could spill the beans.

Major props to whoever hypothesized that Uno would be a Hero of the Horn; not sure if he's implied to be Gaidal Cain or not (possibly not? there was a blink-and-I-missed it moment of PDA between Birgitte and somebody but I am not sure if it was Uno or not).

I did not anticipate Mat making an ashandarai out of household objects and the dagger and I am EXTREMELY PROUD of him. Also proud of him for escaping traps! My boy is really coming into his own! I also really appreciate the classic blunder of doing the same thing to Mat again but worse- the Dark does not understand that my boy thrives when you do that. He solves his problems by escalating them in intensity or magnitude. You can only put him in a room with drugs once, if you put him in a room with drugs again he will use them in an unconventional manner to escape and also destroy his enemies.

Also props to whoever guessed that the Horn would trigger memories for Mat- I'm intrigued by where they are going with this. I hope it's not precluding the Aelfinn and Eelfinn, but given all the hanging foreshadowing, the makeshift ashandarai, and Lanfear yeeting Moiraine out of the waygate doorway, I don't really think they'd cut the Eelfinn. It's the Aelfinn that seem slightly less like a sure thing, and I'm going to be a little on edge until Mat gets the DotNM prophecy somehow. I don't think they'd cut the problematic fave; it's a juicy part, idk what Mat would even do if he weren't babysitting the Seanchan in the later plot, and they've been doing great with the 'you're wrong but I see where you're coming from' characters. But they've either cut or significantly changed the Moiraine/Thom relationship in the show, and the two relationships are kind of linked in my head for thematic reasons. I'm probably overthinking it though.

HOPPER T_T

Dain looked like a boy band member who fell off the stage and got trampled in the mosh pit.

Loved that Egwene got to face off against Ishamael! Loved Egwene all the time forever actually. I was also entertained that Egwene had like one semester of Magic College and used it to school the Seanchan on linking mechanics. She's right that the sul'dam don't know how to link properly and are weak little babies when it comes to channeling, and she should say it.

Nyneave and Elayne were great, as usual- very impressed with Elayne, who is finally living all her Battle Queen fantasies and is being very brave about how much they suck, actually. Nyneave is in for some self-loathing next season though, I'm afraid. I love that Rand and Elayne still get to have a meet-cute when she's treating his wounds. :P

I was very happy for Tumblr User Moghedien that we got to see Forsaken Moghedien. She's offputting and very gay, just like I imagined!

[nayialovecat]

The Ink Demonth 2023 - Day 26. Demon

Day 26. Demon Crossover: The Owl House You're wrong, Luz. This is Earth. Just a very, very strange and specific piece of Earth. Yes, this is the exit door from BATIM. Now you know why there was such a strange light coming from them X"D

It was even fun to draw, although I was very hesitant to do it, which became even more intense just before colouring (which I will tell you about in a moment). The premise was that Luz opened a portal to the Workshop during her attempts to recreate the Portal Doors - this is the period in which King was searching for his father (and didn't know who he was). By the way, this also explains how Bendy managed to get out of the Studio, breaking the curse, and went on his tour around the multiverse :D

And now it will be less fun. I've had a really bad panic attack and anxiety in the last twenty-four hours - and for a while I didn't want to post anything else. Never. And it all started with a short exchange of comments under picture Day 23. Contraband on dA (screenshot here). It doesn't seem like anything (I tried to make it a joke, but then they blocked me), but I checked this person's account and discovered that they were publishing other people's works there (mainly from Twitter and Pinteres). I don't know if it was with their consent, but it seems to me that if they have consent to it, they should still include information about the original author of the work in the description of the image (I'm not even saying that it would be perfect to provide a link to the original work), and this is not the case does. If it weren't for the fact that some of the works have watermarks or signatures of the original authors, you might think that the guy draws themself - nowhere does they state that this is the case, but they comments on the pictures as if they were their author. Plus as I said earlier, they blocked me before i could ask about these (probably stolen) arts. Why did it make me anxious and paranoid? Well, 'cause I am very, very afraid of my works being stolen. I'm not very popular, so there's little chance of this happening - and I usually don't remember such things happening. Sometimes I feel anxiety when I find my arts on Pinterest or strange websites with pictures - I didn't give permission for that. This person, however, reminded me of it with their indignation that how do I have the right not to have a picture of Owl House when the search engine returned it as Owl House. As I say, I was ready to give up further work not only on Ink Demonth (especially since, as you can see, this entry is about Owl House, on which that person clearly has an unhealthy fixation), but also any work that I had post on dA or tumblr. I blocked them on dA, but cannot block myself for them in the whole internet, right? First of all, my paranoia resulted in me blocking the visibility of my tumblr for people who are not logged in, I'm also trying to do something like that for dA, but I don't think it's possible. I don't know where I'll end up with my paranoia - but my friends have made a lot of effort to convince me that everything is ok. Finally, I decided to post this picture and I'll probably upload other Ink Demonth entries at last. I hope I won't regret it :c But I'm afraid and I don't know if after finishing the Ink Demonth challenge I won't give up (for some time or forever) publishing my drawings on the Internet. I wanted you to know. It's bad. My anxiety doesn't necessarily make sense - but it has huge consequences.

My paranoia brought another bad thing. Although I really liked the show The Owl House and was looking forward to the translation and dubbing of the next season in my country (the one that takes place on Earth) - I'm not waiting for it anymore. To be honest, I'm sick of it and feel anxious just looking at the characters of the show. Here look, how can a bad fandom ruin even the coolest thing :/ Someone will say that I am exaggerating. YES I KNOW. But that's how my fucked up, full of illnes mind works and I have no influence on it.

I didn't want such a monologue under this art. I wanted to write here which characters I like and who I'm shipping with whom - but right now... well. No. Sorry.

I just want to have the joy of creating again…

Bendy and the Ink Machine (c) Joey Drew Studios Inc. The Owl House (c) Dana Terrace Sammy and the Ink Machine (c) Nayia Lovecat

[neil-neil-orange-peel]

What was the rick mayall comedy with ade that rheyre two old fucks living in an apartment together... ik thats so vauge but im trying to remember the name of it to watch it again 😭 i just re watched all of tyo and neeeddd to find it again lol

Also hope your doing well its been awhile since ive been on tumblr to see or ask about ur page but i think abt u occasionally and im like yeah i hope theyre doing well keeping the tyo fandom alive

Also is there no charictor limit on these asks now????

Hi! Sorry it's taken me a while to answer this.

It sounds like you're describing Bottom, the '90s sitcom where Rik and Ade played two broadly middle aged bastards at the bottom (get it?) of society, loafing about, being pervy, and causing chaos. It isn't quite as surreal as The Young Ones, but it does feature lots of slapstick violence - Richie and Eddie have at least one very creative physical fight per episode - and there are occasions where something extra mad will happen, like the ceiling caving in, underpants being filled with custard, and fire farts (to name a few examples). Christopher Ryan also appears in a few episodes as one of Eddie's mates, Dave Hedgehog.

One of the original inspirations for Bottom was Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot, which Rik and Ade both loved and thought was funny. It was one of the things they bonded over at uni, and the two of them got to star in a run of it in the early '90s (again, with Christopher Ryan).

There were three series of Bottom from 1991-1995, totalling at 18 episodes. All episodes were available on Dailymotion the last time I checked - in fact, I have a post somewhere on this blog with links to them, though it may very well be outdated by now. If you have a mooch around online, you should be able to find them.

The reason I'm guessing you mean Bottom is because Richie Richard and Eddie Hitler live together in a (disgusting) flat in Hammersmith, and there are some episodes set entirely within this horrid hovel. However, Filthy, Rich and Catflap also sees Richie Rich and Eddie Catflap sharing a (not quite as disgusting) flat, but these characters were a bit younger - and, to be honest, Bottom is the more highly regarded of the two sitcoms, though I don't think FR&C is anywhere near as bad as some critics made out.

Rik and Ade made five live stage shows for Bottom (Bottom Live) between 1993-2003. In fact, the fifth Bottom Live was the last substantial work they did together. All five of these have been available on YouTube for some years, so I assume they still are. I personally just slightly prefer the sitcom (or maybe I'm just jealous I can't go and see Bottom Live 😂), and I think a general rule of thumb is the quality does decline a little across the five (apologies to my comedy gods, although I think Ade might agree with me), but they are all absolutely worth a watch. Rik and Ade break character in them from time to time, and they're allowed to say fuck.

They also made a Bottom film in 1999 called Guest House Paradiso, which features Simon Pegg. Rik and Ade play the same characters, but now they run an appalling hotel on the Isle of Wight and their surnames are different (which Ade acknowledged when I went to see him touring with his autobiography was inexplicable). The film is not for the weak of stomach, certainly not for anyone with emetophobia, and unfortunately it does suffer from the curse of most sitcom movies apart from Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa in that it doesn't quite translate. To be fair, they didn't have a massive budget, and it happened only a year after Rik's accident (they were both meant to direct it, but Ade took on full directing duties as a result of this). Still, it's not unfunny, and I think it's available on Dailymotion; if you like Bottom, you should give it a watch. I wonder what a Bottom film set in the original world of the sitcom would've been like...

I have an inking who you are, although I might be wrong. I hope you're well, anyway. 😂 I'm fine, just trundling along, coming up to my last semester as an undergrad. Tumblr may well have changed the character limit on asks, though I honestly couldn't say for sure.

Thanks for the ask!

[mary-is-writing]

Patreon, moving and trying stuff for the heck of it

The tl;dr is that my writing and tag games are moving to Patreon, for free. I'm still using this blog as my main and a writeblr. You'll likely won't see more writing here but you'll probably see lots of links to patreon posts. Since I'm new to Patreon, I'm open to advice about how to use it, if I should use it at all, and anything else. More details under the cut owo)/

You probably know that they've started approaching AI in here, which is a big turn off for creators. It's me, I'm creators.

While my main blog here works both as a personal and a writeblr, I've been thinking if, how and where will I migrate my writing to, specifically excerpts and small stuff like writing related tag games. After thinking for a while and getting reassurance from some writer friends, I've decided to migrate it to Patreon.

What does that mean? I hear you ask. It means that all the excerpts, character designs and art related stuff of my wips that would've been shared directly to Tumblr will now be shared directly there. Other stuff like updates on the state of the writing progress I'm making, that's not my writing itself, will most likely continue to be posted on Tumblr since that's kinda the only social platform I use.

So it'll be behind a paywall? You may wonder. No, it will not: all of those things I mentioned earlier (excerpts, lines, character designs and more) will be free to read and see for everyone. After all, they'd be free if they were in Tumblr, so I want to keep it like that.

You won't post them in Tumblr anymore, then? Like I said, no; not directly at least. I plan to try and see how it goes with me linking the patreon post to my Tumblr every time I upload there. It may be redundant to do all this just to post it here anyway, but it's a way to avoid the Tumblr AI that makes me feel more at peace than just an opt-out button.

What about writeblr tag games? A valid question, in a lot of those you have to share your writing. For now my plan is to do them in bulk so I can have one big post with all of them there, every other month or so, instead of a lot of tiny ones, and then link it over here. I think that'll work better, and it'll also give me time to stock on them. In other words, wether we're mutuals or not here, please tag me in things!! It'll take a while, but I promise I'll get to it. Eventually.

Why Patreon though? Well, I don't need to tell you that we live in capitalist times, and as a recent college graduate without a job that wants to be an indie writer, Patreon is a good option for me to make some sort of revenue. However, I don't work fast enough to show stuff on Patreon as rewards on a regular basis, that is, if you don't count stuff like small excerpts and tag games (which are sometimes one and the same), nor do I have a massive following that'd be willling to wait more between rewards. This is the second reason why I decided to migrate things there; first, to avoid the AI; second, to have something to show for my writing and do a little nudge to say Hey, if you like what you read, there's a way right here to support me so I can continue it. I could use other platforms like Ko-Fi, but if I'm gonna put time into something that allows me to earn some spare cash, I prefer it to be the one that'd let me have those earnings on a more regular basis.

Unless Ko-Fi has changed how it works, in which case I'll be checking it out later.

I don't have a set goal nor does my income currently depend on this, so I think it's a good time to start posting things to a Patreon without stressing myself that "it has to work". In the end, this is all just me trying things around to figure out what works and what not. If it doesn't work and people don't want to do an extra click to read my stuff, like I said, it's not like there's a lot of pressure on me right now. I've had a few years living with a Just Do It mentality and this is a extension of that, so for now I'll try this out, see where it goes, and how it develops.

I have a few things to tweak and prepare for the Patreon page to be ready for launching, so if you have any suggestions about how to use Patreon or if my approach is wrong and you know a better platform for this, please do tell me! Like I said, this is all just trial and error, so I'll learn as I do.

Thanks for reading!!

[hereforthefanficsandromance]

Good News and Bad News

What I'm Up To:

Hey everyone, I know it's been a few weeks since you've seen any new writings on my end. I want to apologize for this delay. I am currently working really hard to learn as much as possible about creative writing in order to present the best possible work for not only TWHLAY but also for all my one shots and mini series.

This has understandably been a rather large task and has pushed a lot of my stuff backwards on the timeline of completion. However, I am extremely optimistic that the payoff will be absolutely worth it.

Because of this work, we must enter the…

Bad News

TWHLAY Act II will have pretty significant delays, expect up to six months before you see new chapters for that Act. I completely understand that a lot of you follow me because you were hoping for new content for The Way He Looks at You. I understand that this may lead some of you to unfollow until new content is produced or never return to reading this story due to the delay. To those of you, and everyone who follows me, I want to say: Thank you so much for all your love and support with my writing. I am eternally grateful for this community and I hope to provide an outstanding level of work in the future for your enjoyment.

Other bad news, there will be a delay in the last chapter of Til the Cals Come Home for those of you who are invested in the story. I will return to it as soon as I am able. I want to get some other things moving before I prioritize it.

This all sound like a lot of delays, but I promise there is…

Good News

While Act II of TWHLAY is delayed, that does not mean you are done seeing content for our beloved Inquisitor Cal and his Light. I will still be producing new content. First, I am beginning revisions on the overall story in Act I, which means that I will be reposting all chapters to a new Tumblr blog which I beg you to follow at the following link:

This Tumblr will have the entire catalog of chapters and suggested reading order lists.

These reposts of chapters will be far superior to previous edits. I will be expanding upon our favorite characters and doing complete overhauls of the early chapters. Don't worry, the original chapters will stay posted on my main Tumblr blog if you hate the new releases. Also, I will be keeping critical (fan favorite) dialogue, and the scenes will be the same. There will be additions to many of the scenes, and a focus on better writing in general. Perhaps you hate the idea of rereading all twenty-four chapters. I don’t blame you…lucky for you, there will be audio editions of each chapter available on FanficsToAudiobooks on Tumblr:

Other exciting news, that isn’t the only new content for TWHLAY that you will receive while waiting for Act II. I am also writing a Prequel about Cal’s life as an Inquisitor before meeting Reader. You can expect nine chapters covering each year that Cal spent as an Inquisitor, all written from his perspective, of course.

Lastly, I am still finishing up several fan stories, one of which will be a mini series that will be public thanks to the winner okaying that this one be shared with all of you. It will also feature Inquisitor Cal, however, not at all the same man from TWHLAY. I am sure you will still like him quite a bit. The rest of the fan stories will NOT be posted publicly, but I am still excited for them to go to the recipients. You know who you are.

Final Thoughts

Thank you for everything. I am excited to show you how much better I can do. If you have room for words of encouragement, I always appreciate them. I love seeing my stuff get likes, comments, and reblogs (like anyone). If you’d like to join my plight to make this story as good as it can be, please reach out. I always have some new project/need to bring this story to life. Please join my Discord for updates on where I am on creating new content:

[spreadingaplagueoflulz]

i think its so cool that i asked if you were ever gonna apologize for the photoshopped blackface ea pic you posted, you claimed to have no knowledge of it and accused me of trolling, i shot you a link and said “here it is!”, you deleted it… and then never acknowledged it.

like, good on ya for taking it down, but sweeping it under the rug after publicly proclaiming someone who called you out on it was trolling is INSANE work.

what are you talking about

there are multiple admins here

i'mma scroll and see if i can find what you're talking about but i have no clue what this is

--

are you talking about this???????? my brother in christ this is the only thing close to blackface i can find on this blog

--

YOOO WAIT I FOUND IT WHAT THE FUCK

it appears to be a submission to the blog, exactly 13 years ago. it doesn't show me who posted it, but it does show who submitted it

i'm going to delete the post because the submitter's name is attached to it

with the way tumblr works i don't know if that's still the same person and i don't want people going to someone that had nothing to do with it

but here's the post:

submission receipt from notes, name not highlighted:

so, first--i do apologize that this was ever posted, on behalf of all of us left here. we should've let this die in the inbox with all the other crap we get in there

we've had a rotating staff of admins and i really don't know where this came from, but i'll try to see if i can figure it out

second--we didn't delete it, like you claimed? unless there's another post i don't know about, but i'm not seeing anything

i'm sure this apology isn't perfect in any way but i'm not entirely sure what else to say other than sorry

[deviantartdramahub]

https://web.archive.org/web/20230830174822/https://www.deviantart.com/eviejulia/status-update/No-one-has-actually-threatened-979783978

Speak for yourself. The first screenshot is BS, or she would've linked to the post, not screenshotted it, so nobody has to worry about any selfie thieves. As shown because the other screenshot is 90% blurred, as if you need more proof a screenshot was altered... to use an analogy, if you're the kind of person who sees faces blurred on Cops or LivePD and still thinks it's live, you're the kind of individual with the intelligence to end up on the show in the first place. Many people have their settings set to invisible browsing, which does mean you'll need someone's IP if you want a full count of who visits your profile (and the last time I visited it was to read a post she wanted me to read). This is the kind of thing that Evie did to cause her now-shrinking fanbase to try to mass-spam reports against me to get me banned in 2021 so she could have her way, so this is personal.

While we're talking about the post, though, the second of the two links that was provided links to something that has nothing to do with "the gang". "Max and Kiyo" are not in "the gang", just as the anon in the first screenshot is not the person in the first link, if it's even real. That's just the strawman fallacy, just as it is that someone conflates her with other users when she says "last time I checked, your lot accused me of being another user on here a few times, which was debunked", no? Or are you the anon in the first screenshot? I know better, but that doesn't mean you don't now have things to prove. For starters, one does not bring screenshots to a link fight. She is exactly what the people of Side7 refer to at https://side7.com/forums/thread/654/5 when they mention how toxic the DeviantArt discussion community is.

She also says "I'm not even a part of that blog, as I've already stated previously, I posted the threats you guys sent on that blog, along with evidence, Show me where I ever made up a story or accusation that wasn't backed up with evidence, I'll wait" when such an example is literally the post that assertion is made in if it's in the same few paragraphs as her saying the anon must be the first linked person, because someone could just as easily say the anons in DeviantArtDramaNow are her, again not that screenshots are not evidence. So yeah, that wasn't a long wait.

If the rest of what the post was saying was true, the Tumblr group would be reported and gone. And with that, it was surprisingly easy to address everything here, as she put in little substance, as someone who vets her followers according to how gullible they are. This post will say it's an anon post, but that's for a little legroom; I am u/MexicanMonsterMash and I will use my Reddit account to vocally confirm this post is mine once this post is approved.

I challenge her readers to an argument, for the sake of defense. All are welcome here to do so, if they may. She also asked if she was being stalked despite this Tumblr group previously exposing what one might argue is her doing the same thing.

[camaro-and-smokes]

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Chapter 16: À La Tour Eiffel

Chapter tags: No warnings, well what do you think might happen in Paris?

Summary: The city of lovers was supposed to be a good experience. But to Billy it didn't exactly feel like it. Well, not until…

Links to all chapters on tumblr on Chapter 1 post >>

Read on AO3 >>

::::::::::

Billy refused to call Steve and also answer his calls. He was so embarrassed and heartbroken that he didn't want to listen even to Eddie trying to tell him what Steve had told him. He was torn into pieces all the way to his gut, blaming himself of it all.

He had just slept in his hotel room ever since the crew arrived at Paris. Whenever he woke up he wallowed in his heartache. Because he felt that it was exactly what he deserved. He felt that it was him who had messed everything up and caused Steve to cheat. Him not being open about him and Eddie to Steve, kissing with Eddie and not walking away right away - doing that to Chrissy too - and then wanting to have revenge sex with Eddie after seeing the photos – and finally Eddie annoyingly doing the right thing by telling him that there was no way going back for them that way.

He was convinced that all he had left of Steve was a memory of the glorious months with him.

In the late evening there was a knock on his door. Rob opened the door, and Eddie was soon next to Billy's bed. ”Hey, Billy, now you have to get up. I need you to come with me!” Billy didn't turn to look at Eddie, he just pulled the pillow from under his head and over it. ”Leave me the fuck alone," he muttered. Eddie sat on the bed. ”Nah, c'mon! I need you with me.” ”There's nowhere you need me to be,” Billy mumbled under the pillow. Eddie was quiet for a moment. "You know, I think what happened was what we both needed so that we could to move on into things that are actually relevant right now." "I don't need you to tell me what I need or..." "I didn't come here to argue. I'm doing it tonight. Moving on." Billy opened his eyes and stared at the wall for a moment. He pulled the pillow away and looked at Eddie over his shoulder silent for a while. ”You're proposing to her?” he asked quietly Eddie smiled a faint smile and nodded. “I'd really like you to be there. I mean, not to rub it in, but you know, for being my best friend and all." He paused and chewed his cheek. "If we're still that. Best friends." Billy looked back at the wall. "If you still want that." "Hell yes I want that," Eddie replied instantly. "No one knows me as well as you do. And you know things of me no one else does. And I don't mean the other day. I mean embarrassing stuff. You know what I mean." Billy couldn't help smiling. "Yeah. The things I could do by spilling the beans on that..." Eddie punched Billy on the thigh. "If you ever do that I swear..." Billy chuckled. "I'll take it to my grave, Munson, don't worry." He turned to look back at Eddie. "And I'll never use it against you. You can trust that." Eddie smiled a lopsided grin. "C'mon, come with me. Chrissy will appreciate you being there as well. I know it. You're her friend too. Please?" Billy sighed. ”Fine. Give me fifteen minutes to prepare."

When Billy got to the hotel lobby where Eddie was waiting, he looked around. "Where's Chrissy? I thought she was with you." Eddie smiled. "I've set it so that she comes directly from the airport to the tower." "You know, if I was in her shoes I'd be pissed that you didn't meet her already at the airport." "In this case I didn't think it was necessary. You'll see." Billy squinted. "There's something you're not telling me." "I'm going to propose to her for fuck's sake! I want to keep it a surprise until the last moment and you know how I start blabbering when I get nervous. It's better this way." "It's your funeral. Just saying."

”Can I see the ring?” Billy asked when the band's car took off from the hotel and into the busy Paris traffic. ”Nope,” Eddie said. "She's gonna be the first one to see it. If you ask nicely she might show it to you." They rode in silence for a while. "Listen, Eddie,” Billy said, “don't ever tell her what happened between us. And I mean the other day. Telling would maybe clear your conscience but knowing would just hurt her, and then you'd be sorry for the rest of your life for doing it and telling her. Yeah, you did hurt her already, but you know what I mean. It sucks but telling the truth isn't always the right thing to do. As long as you don't do it again." He looked at Eddie. "Let's just forget it ever happened. Ok?" Eddie looked back at Billy and nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right." Billy returned to watch the scenery pass by. "I should've let go of you earlier. To take agency of my own well-being. But I was...afraid. Dreaming of something that might happen one day was easier than actually seriously to go and look for someone." "Well, you had dates..." "None of them were anything else but a band aid. They all even looked like you. It was so pathetic," Billy said shaking his head, embarrassed. "What about that one guy, what was his name? The short one." "Oh, that guy. Didn't I tell you? He decided that he was straight when it started to look like that we might've had something serious. Man, did he have issues with his height. He was well equipped though, one of the few things I never complained about." They both burst into laughter. "What about Harrington?" Eddie asked after the laughter had settled. Billy sighed. "A dreamboat. Too good to be true. Could've been the love of my life." "Could've been? Isn't that a bit dramatic? I mean, you could just talk to him or..." "I messed everything up and he cheated on me. There is no going back," Billy snapped. "You've refused to talk to him!" Eddie groaned frustrated. "Give the guy at least a chance to explain himself before you call it quits." Billy said nothing. Eddie sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's all about you thinking that every time shit hits the fan you deserve that shit. You wallow in the pit of your own despair, alone, because you think that nothing good can ever happen to you, that you don't deserve anything good. As if the shit is somehow a proof that you're worthless. And I get it because..." Eddie sighed. "Because even I've treated you like shit. And I'm sorry about that. I truly am." He looked at Billy. "But you out of everyone deserve all the good that comes your way. You haven't lost him. Trust me." Billy looked back out. He wished he could believe Eddie's words. He wanted to treat them as a gospel because there was nothing he wanted more than to have Steve. "We'll see about that when I get back home."

After a while he started to feel a bit better. Hell, they were in Paris. He had always wanted to visit there but never had the time or will to travel there, even after he would've had the money to do it. Paris, the most romantic city in the world, and looking at the architecture, the small cafés, people going about their lives on the softly lit pavements - it truly felt like it.

It felt right for him to be there. It would've been better if Steve was there with him. No, not just better - perfect. He had to swallow hard to keep the tightness in his chest from bursting out.

Finally the car pulled off. Eiffel tower was standing in front of them lit up and glittering in the Paris night. Billy had to smile a little. ”This is a pretty unforgettable setting.” ”Well, yeah. Only best for my girl!” ”I hope there's an elevator.” Eddie laughed. ”Yeah, there's an elevator.”

"So, you already got jitters?" Billy asked as they walked towards the monument. "Nah. I know I want to marry her. If she'll have me, that is." Billy stared at the ground ahead. "We'll see if I'll ever get married. If anyone ever wants me." "Hey. There's someone who wants your stubborn ass," Eddie smiled. "Yeah, in the next life. Maybe." Eddie shook his head. "They'll have their hands full with you, I'll say that."

When they got to the tower entrance, Billy noticed that there was no one else around but the staff. They got into the elevator and the windows that usually were open and showed the scenery around the tower as it raised up, were covered with thick black curtains. "Trying to keep something big as a secret to her until the very last moment?" Billy asked. "Of course! What would be the fun otherwise?" Eddie grinned. "So, uh, when we get to the platform... Could you take her to the other side? I want to come in a bit later." Billy smiled. "Sure, as long as you don't make me propose to her for you."

When the elevator got to the top and the doors opened Billy walked to the platform and saw Chrissy. He had to bite his lip not to burst into tears right there and then. "It's so good to see you," he whispered to her as they hugged. "You too," she whispered back. “Where's Eddie? He said he'll come with you." ”He'll come soon. Let's take a look at the city.”

They walked to the edge of the platform and looked at the scenery. “It’s beautiful!” Chrissy gasped. “Yeah,” Billy replied absentmindedly. Chrissy glanced at him. “Is everything ok?” Billy took a deep breath. Then he forced a smile on his face and looked at her nodding. “Yeah, nothing you need to worry about.” She took his hand in hers. “You know you can talk to me about anything.” Billy tilted his head and grimaced. “Maybe one day.” She smiled at him assuredly. “Ok. One day.” They looked at the view again. "I wonder what that is," Chrissy said when she spotted a large black rectangle structure down on the ground in front of the tower. Billy looked down as well, and the structure lit up, revealing itself as a large led-screen. It filled with animations of starbursts. The stars started to form shapes that turned into letters. Finally a text 'Will you marry me, Chrissy?' was formed. "Oh my god!" Chrissy gasped. Eddie walked to her from her side of the platform and knelt in front of her with an open jewelry box. Billy looked at Chrissy breaking into happy tears and accepting the proposal. But at the same time he felt more miserable than he'd ever felt, and he had to look away, at the city of lovers that spread around as far as he could see, bathing in orange light.

After a while a bright light blinked on the ground, and Billy glanced back down. More shapes made of stars were forming on the screen, and when the text was visible, he had put his hand over his mouth as he felt his heart swell a thousand times.

The text 'Marry me, Gorgeous' was glowing on the screen.

Billy let out a sob and could no longer hold back the tears. Steve hugged him from behind, and Billy leaned to his warm embrace closing his eyes, setting his hand on Steve's arm that was over his chest. "So, what's it gonna be?” Steve whispered to Billy's ear, and held an open jewelry box in front of Billy. It held a thick platinum ring with deep slanted carvings, each filled with small diamonds. "You really want me?" Billy asked quietly. "I've wanted to marry you from day one," Steve whispered, and set a kiss on Billy's cheek, "I want you to be mine until the end of time." "I'm sorry, about everything." "No need to be." "Is it true what Eddie said? About that woman?" "Yes. If you want, I have the driving logs from the Merc to prove I was there less than five minutes. You know how much I love foreplay..." "There’s no way you could've had anything done in that time," Billy chuckled. "Say yes," Steve whispered and set his chin on Billy's shoulder. Billy leaned his head on Steve's. He bit his lower lip, and grinned. "Yes." Steve took the ring from the box, and held it with his fingers in front of Billy. “Give me your hand.” Billy couldn't stop smiling stupidly wide grin as he held his left hand up and Steve put the ring on his ring finger. Billy examined the ring, and couldn't help sniffling. “Do you like it?” Steve asked. “I love it. I love you.” “I love you, too.” Steve turned Billy around and kissed him. "You just made me the happiest man on Earth," he said after he broke the kiss. “Well, I'm pretty happy too,” Billy replied, smiling.

“You're willing to take Mr. Big after all?” Eddie, who had been watching the proposal with Chrissy, asked with a grin. Billy turned to look at him and raised his left hand up. “Well, how can I say no to this?” “Still sorry you came?” “No,” Billy said smiling. “Maybe we need to have a double wedding,” Chrissy said, showing her own ring. Billy and Chrissy went to admire each other's rings immediately.

“I suppose congratulations are in order,” Steve said to Eddie, and reached out his hand. Eddie took it and shook it. “Yeah, thanks. And same to you. You're a lucky man. Oh, and thanks for bringing her here.” “Don't mention it, it was my pleasure.” Eddie leaned closed to Steve. “We're good?” he asked quietly. Steve looked at Eddie with a hard expression. “You’re his best friend. I’ll tolerate it.” He clenched his teeth. “But if ever again...” Eddie shook his head. “No need to worry. He wants just you, no one else. And I have a duty of my own now.”

[serabellymrph]

RpThreadTracker - A TLDR Guide

So, since my xKit Rewritten tldr guide went pretty well, I'm opting to do a little guide on something else that's really helped me keep track of threads, which is rpthreadtracker. This will just be a one-post psa/guide on how to use it and why I highly recommend it over other tracking methods. It works really well on mobile, too--hooray mobile users! I have done methods myself such as filling out a form every time I start a new thread, keeping a google doc, all that thing, and they all suffer from one key issue: I FORGET TO UPDATE WHEN I GET A REPLY OR NOTIFICATION.

What rpthreadtracker does is it takes out the middleman when it comes to Tumblr: notifications. No more relying on Tumblr's notifications/your replies getting lost in notifications. You will still have to be diligent for @ mentions for starters or the like, or threads you haven't added yet to the tracker; however, that is the ONLY time you will have to worry about it. Once you make your first reply, the tracker does all the work for you.

But wait--I run multiple blogs across multiple accounts! That's too many thread tracker accounts to track!

Well--in RPThreadTracker's case, sideblogs and main blogs are treated all the same. You make an account, and that's just your hub. This works for both multimuse and single-muse blogs, and can work if you have a mixture of both.

It's pretty simple to add characters. The character's full name goes in the first, you won't ever have to change the platform as it only works for Tumblr, and the character url identifier is your blog name.

Adding threads is just as simple:

You select the character from the dropdown (identified by both character name and blog name) to link that thread to that specific character. The title's just for you, I often pick memorable titles for it, usually something to do with the prompt if it was an ask, or the theme of it.

Post ID is where it gets a little more complex. When someone has answered your sent ask, this number needs to be the post ID of YOUR reply, not theirs. This is sort of where it gets a little hinky; you'll have to either draft that ask right away, or reply to it right away. I recommend drafting it, then filling out everything except the post ID in this section. What this will do is mark it as "awaiting starter" in your tracker (you can also do this for asks you've been sent and are in your drafts--just add all the necessary content minus the Post ID, and you'll know which ones you owe) and you can still track it until you update it.

Partner URL Identifier just allows you to filter away any notifications that are not of the partner you're writing with. For multi-person threads, this won't be useful, but if you find people tend to reblog your RP posts (or you don't care if they do), then you'll want to fill this out. This means that it'll only track when THAT partner reblogs your post, and no one else. This can be great if you post an open starter and a few people reply off the same post; you can have multiple tracks for different muns, and keep up with each interaction without having to have separate threads for them (you may want to, though).

Description and Tags are self-explanatory. I sometimes like to tag mine with the different memes, or when I start archiving threads, I'll mark them as Completed or Dropped so I can sort my archived threads (as I archive threads for a few months before untracking them in case the mun returns and does want to continue--I just no longer consider them 'active' threads).

Now--your dashboard:

This is a great, at-a-glance view of where you're sitting threadwise. This can tell you whether maybe you need to slow down on your threads, or whether you're doing okay. Yes, mine shows me at 95 active threads (with a few I need to add), but I only owe 6, so I know I've made pretty good headway on those. If you're someone who runs replies off the queue, that's also there too--I don't, so mine says 0, but sometimes I will use the "queued" function for drafts I know I have finished but just haven't posted yet, as I kind of enjoy spamming the dash with replies.

Not sure where to start on your replies? There's a function for that!

It picks from your reply list for you. You can just do that if you don't want to work through in any particular order, but just want to get a few out and don't know where to start. I personally don't use it because it's not my style, but for the indecisive, it can be great!

Finally, the sorting:

There are so many options for sorting, it's crazy. These options are available on the all threads, your turn, their turn, archived, and queued sections. You can sort by all of your characters, whoever posted last, the last date posted, and what partner's being tracked.

You can also look at your characters at a glance to see how much is going on with them, set certain characters to inactive, or see which of your characters is most popular:

As you can see, my Weiss and Salem are my most popular muses/have the most threads... but I've probably had them the longest in the most active verse of all my muses.

There are other things you can play with too, such as the public views tool, but that's an advanced tool that I'm not really going to cover. But hopefully, this will be helpful to yall!

[zephycluster]

Precolonial HWS SEA Rant Post, feel free to ignore

If you're still reading, then you're probably looking for evidence or some juicy tidbits to throw back at me or to try and find dirt to cancel me, like typical Tumblr/Twitter. Go ahead, I don't really care.

First off, let me just say that If you like Precolonial South-East Asia AUs, feel free to keep enjoying them. I will respectfully support your passions from afar. This post is just to explain why I don't like it, especially the way they keep insisting/portraying PH in it.

Still here? Then let me begin.

Since the recent confirmation that the ASEAN Six Majors (Can't really say ASEAN 10 atm since it's still missing some people) Were completed and the Ma-Phil-Indo Trio was included, there has been a large surge in 'Precolonial' fanarts and portrayals of South East Asians, those three especially.

Even long, long before, circa 2010's ish, a rather well-known fan universe known as 'Maaf' dealt with their story and how their Author thought their intertwined histories went. Written by (my best guesstimate) an Indonesian writer who wants to explore the old, SEA bond.

When I first stumbled across Maaf (I was in Highschool at the time, around age 16-ish), I took a casual interest in it and tried to read it through. But, I will wholeheartedly admit that at the time, Pre-Colonial cultures of South-East Asia in general, let alone Philippine, did not really interest me that much. The focus (I think) was mostly on Indonesia, a country I didn't really know back then, and the liberal use of 'ancient' names and artwork just made it feel like an entirely Original Work (that needed a degree in History to really appreciate) and not something from Hetalia. I also completely disagreed with what I could gather was the story's portrayal of PH but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Do I hate 'Maaf'? No, I don't hate it. Do I wish I never came across it or that it didn't exist? Of course not. Just because I didn't enjoy it or appreciate it that well doesn't mean I wish any ill toward it, its fans, or its creator.

Fast forward to April 2021, the long awaited inclusion of South East Asia to the canon Hetalia verse. I was happy, the other fans were happy, all was good.

Then started the questionable fanarts, fan theories and fan pairings.

Especially the expansion of Precolonial! PH.

Let's go back to Maaf for one moment. From what I understood of Maaf, PH there was a character who once was like all the other South East Asian cultures, trading with them, all around being a nice family.

But all that changed when the Spaniards attacked, so cry the precolonial buffs. They destroyed everything, ransacked and marginalized the tribes, erased everything that PH was!

Did that happen? ABSOLUTELY. The Spaniards had this vision in mind that they must spread Christianity to all of the 'savage, unchristian heathens' of their realm. :V /s

But back up a second, back to PH's portrayal in Maaf. The way she (yeah, she) was portrayed there was that she was slowly losing her memories of being a 'true' South East Asian and grew more and more westernized in the process, like some sort of Culture-specific Alzheimer's or something.

Firstly, that is seriously depressing, and secondly, I just really don't see that happening.

Here's why.

Point 1: Even before Colonial Masters, Filipinos as a people cannot agree on anything.

I'll just begin this segment with a Philippine proverb that outlines what Filipinos call 'Crab Mentality' or 'Crab Bucket Mentality'.

"You don't need a lid for a container when you're keeping multiple crabs. If you keep at least two crabs together, they will just pull each other down instead of helping each other up."

I don't know how it goes with Indonesian or Malaysian history class, but what I know of my homeland, both pre- and post-colonial history, we were never really 'united' or 'together' in the sense that Indonesia and Malaysia were (from what I assume).

Let me pull up a somewhat related question on r/AskHistorians.

The reason I brought this up as it shows the reasons why, in my opinion, a single entity that is 'Precolonial Philippines-tan' is an impossibility.

The answers are long and would extend this already long post to stupid proportions, so I'll just quote relevant sentences. The link is here for those that wanna deep-dive into the answer.

"All this to say that there wasn't a name used for the entire Philippine islands before the Philippines that people now would agree to. An interesting comparison would be the Holy Roman Empire, which might also be characterized as disparate politico-geographic groups of relatively small size that had a history of relations between each other, but one thing they had that the Philippines did not was a common language, or at least a family of mostly mutually intelligible languages, so that the name Deutschland or Germany isn't terribly offensive to anyone. If you called the Philippines the 'Lupang-Tagalog' or even 'Lupang-Tao' the other ethnic groups would protest."

For those in need of translation, 'Lupang Tagalog' means 'Land of the Tagalogs' and 'Lupang Tao' means 'Land of People', specifically. The first one is already exclusive and offensive, as the Tagalog peoples are but one of many ethnicities here.

And for the 'Lupang Tagalog' suggestion specifically, it's even more offensive as they are the majority ethnicity (not by much, just around 28%) From this chart from Geography Now! It would basically be alienating everyone else in the 72% remainder that isn't 'Tagalog'.

And even 'Lupang Tao', the most generic name in a local language you can think of, would be met with contempt because the name itself is in the Tagalog language.

Just travelling between two individual island groups today would sometimes require a translator because the words can change very rapidly and very drastically. Here's a sample of some differences coming from a friend living in Visayas (in Red) vs. the words I know living in Luzon (In blue).

Ate vs. Manang = Older Sister

Ibon vs. Pispis = Bird

Tumawa vs. Kadlaw = To laugh

Takot vs. Hadlok = Fear

Kain vs. Kaon = To eat

Ngayon vs. Subong = Now, at this point in time

Iyak vs. Hibi/Gibi = to cry

Talampakan vs. Tiil = Foot (in Tagalog, the word retains its 'body part AND unit of measurement' meaning)

Tulog vs. Tuyo = to sleep (Tuyo in Tagalog is either a dried salted fish or 'to dry')

The kicker is that just like Tagalog is just one of many languages here, so too is the language my friend speaks. Ask an entirely new person, like someone from Mindanao, they'll probably have an entirely new set of words.

It's not just Luzon vs. Visayas vs. Mindanao, either. Here's a map listing some of the ethnic groups here.

Even the way they're written differs from location to location.

While we're on the subject of Island divisions, a casual skim across Twitter and Tumblr has shown that their Precolonial PH has been one of the following ancient civilizations: Tondo, Butuan, Sugbu, Namayan. There may have been others but that was what I have found.

Notice how even today, the posters of Precolonial PH can't seem to agree on what he's supposed to be? With Indonesia it's either Majapahit or Srivijaya and Malaysia it's usually Malacca iirc.

What is the big deal? Well, let's go back to the Ask Historians post. "Why didn't the Philippines ever change its name to remove the colonial mark that being named after a Spanish King has?" The answer: "If you suggested something dating to precolonial times, the other ethnic groups would protest."

Since we're on a roll with maps, let me bring this up.

As you can see, the precolonial PH posts have a reason to not be able to agree on one thing, as there is a LOT of options. Do you also see how THAT list is also split up?

It's split up into those aligned with China (Sinified), aligned with India (Indianized), aligned with the Middle East (Islamicized), and no alignment (Animist). Now, let's go back to the main suggestions for which Kingdom/Polity/Civilization/whatever Modern Philippines used to be.

If the Filipino peoples' couldn't agree on something as simple as WHAT TO CALL THE LAND THEY'RE LIVING ON, what more a living, breathing, walking, talking entity that is supposed to be a beacon of all of their 'unified' culture? ESPECIALLY if that entity used to be a currently existing Kingdom/Polity/Rajahnate/Sultanate/whatever.

Tondo? "Of course, always the damn Tagalogs. Tagalog this, Tagalog that. First the capital city, then the language,* THE REST OF US EXIST, YOU KNOW! What about us in Visayas? Mindanao?"

*The national language known as 'Filipino' is just standardized Tagalog*

Butuan? "Wait, you want Butuan to represent us? They're they only Indian-aligned city in the Islam-majority Mindanao! They're not even that many of them! I'm not gonna change my religion!"

Sugbu, the other name for the Rajahnate of Cebu on the map? Lemme bring back my Visayan friend again. According to her, she hails from the Hiligaynon part of Visayas.

"Sure :v and the other islands are what?

Chopped liver?

Not to mention the language and writing barrier helloooo"

And Namayan? Well. I'll let this pic speak for itself.

To summarize, no matter who you pick as Modern PH's previous identity, it will not end well nor be accepted by the other Kingdoms at the time.

"So where does that leave Modern PH, he had to have been ONE of them, right?"

Well, not really. He doesn't HAVE to be one of the Ancient Kingdoms that lasted till the modern day. I mean, predecessor representatives exist in Hetalia canon, after all. Like Modern Greece is a different character from Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt and Modern Egypt, heck even England and his brothers have a canon mother that was the rep before them.

Or you could even use the same logic that Germany does, in that each specific region has/had its own representative and that Modern!PH is just the 'mediator' between them (cause gawd does PH need one). There could be a Tondo, a Namayan, a Butuan, and a Sugbu, all arguing and this Proto-PH is just trying to make headway in making them all satisfied.

But, even after all this, there is another reason why I personally don't subscribe to the 'Precolonial PH' idea, and by tangential extension, the Indo x Phil pairing.

Point 2: Even without intending to, Precolonial Indo x Phil just comes off as patronizing

This second point is just ENTIRELY personal preference and barely has any facts to back it up.

Again, if you like the pairing and disagree with me, You do you. I will respectfully support you and your passions from a distance.

But for me, Indo being Phil's seme/bae/boyfriend and consistently bringing up precolonial times just comes off as patronizing.

Just one more time, I'd like to point out that I am NOT bashing Indonesia, its people or the subscribers of Indo x Phil. This is just how the pairing feels to ME specifically.

The way I see it, Indo x Phil as a pairing, especially if it extends back into precolonial times, reads the same way as a long-since married couple where the husband/wife CONSTANTLY brings up that ONE outing you had together, or that ONE prom night where you kissed while dancing, even it happened like 30 some-odd years ago and so much more happened since then.

Even in a platonic sense, It reads like two besties where one ALWAYS mentions stuff like 'Yeah but you looked so much cooler back in High School' or 'Back in Grade School you would've known that', or 'Remember back in Pre-school we did X? How could you forget that?'

How does one respond to the notion that no matter what you do now, it will never compare to a past you've already forgotten or barely remember? That the best version of 'you' is already long gone?

"That's because the westerners made you forget your culture! You gotta take it back!"

While it is true, yes, as a collective we barely remember the Kingdom that commissioned the Laguna Copperplate, or created the Banaue Rice Terraces, or created the millennia old bonds that we still share with Indonesia and Malaysia.

But to keep pushing the precolonial identity would be to neglect and cast aside the one REAL binding belief and culture that spans the entirety of these islands we call the Philippines.

We take on all the bad stuff that happens to us, conquer it, and make it our own. Be it natural disasters, foreign powers, or negative stereotypical mentalities.

Yes, we've forgotten the ancient kingdoms of old and are just now digging through the closet for those remnants of the past. Yes, the colonizers imposed that on us, and made us forget. But in the process we've also taken everything that they left behind, everything that they threw at us, and created something that can only come from us.

The lanterns that the Spaniards used to light the way to the morning masses they made us attend became our globally known symbol of Christmas. The junked vehicles that the Americans left behind in World War 2 are now rolling works of art that announce themselves loud and proud on the streets (for better or for worse). The iced dessert recipe that the Japanese forced us to learn while they were occupying the country is now so distinct and famous it is synonymous with us, and is so delicious even Italy has taken notice.

Even after all this? Even after all the 425-ish years total we have been under a foreign power, with all the progress we've made as a country, a people, and a nation, you would still imply our fragmented, jigsaw puzzle state of being in the past was better just because it was pure 'South East Asian' like everyone else?

We might not be as well put-together as Indonesia or Malaysia, but we made this melting pot of angry, leg-pulling, dogpiling, Native, Mestizo, Chinoy, and Fil-Am crabs OURS, damnit!

It's now 4:30 AM and I have work in 5 or so hours. I'll be going to sleep now.

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

Can you post your favorite quotes of Bruce? xoxo

YES, I LOVE THIS ASK! THANK YOU! okay, i don't know if this is the type of answer you had in mind, but here's what i have for you. i apologize for my grammar, any misspellings, misheard words, misREMEMBERED words or small sections missing from the original quotes. these are in the random order that my brain thought of them in. i'll put a 'keep reading' thing here because it's a long post. (i still have no idea if that works for mobile tumblr but it's probably fine)

okay i'll start with this one

-

bruce(about his very good choices in pants): "there were certain...items of my anatomy which gave the game away, really."

interviewer: "have your children said anything about this?"

bruce: "well no, the reason i have children is because of the items of my anatomy that people could see through the spandex."

-

just this whole thing: Bruce Dickinson yells at bottler(link)

-

bruce(after coming back to the band): "that's actually what the world needs now, is an iron maiden record."

-

bruce: "we're deeply fond of each other."

dave: "yes, we are."

-

bruce: "i have never been able to bite my toenails."

-

bruce: "they(the fans) expect to be entertained and they expect us to give them our attention because they, after all, did pay to come and see the show. they didn't pay to see us get off on ourselves. i mean, i think a lot of artists go around as if they've got a huge mirror taped this far away from their faces and that's all they notice throughout the whole show."

-

bruce: "it's more important to us to sell one record to a person who appreciates the band, cares about the band, knows the music and likes to get involved with what the band's about, than it is to sell three records to people who heard it on the radio and think 'wow there's two really nice tunes on there. i'm gonna take it back home, get wasted, sit and play it to death and then get sick of it and throw it in the dust bin.'"

-

interviewer: "so where does the thrill lie then, is it having ten thousand people in front of you or having ten thousand people buying your record?"

bruce: "it's having ten thousand people WITH you that's the thrill. knowing that, not that you CONTROL ten thousand people, but that ten thousand people support you in what you're doing. that's a very nice feeling."

-

janick: "there's bits dropping off him(eddie), a bit like us, really."

bruce: "you speak for yourself, there's no bits dropping off me. not yet. later, maybe. "

-

janick: "you know, we've got a lot of older people that have been there from the beginning. they move to the back of the hall, probably."

bruce: "or DIE. or they just DIE. they just DIE. some of them DIE."

janick: "some of them get their hair cut and move to the back of the halls."

bruce: "and the other ones, they breed. the iron maiden fans. they breed. they procreate. and that's where the new ones come out. so what you're seeing is like the endless cycle of nature repeating itself in life."

janick: "i think eddie's been busy as well, helping out."

bruce: "yeah, the old fans eat the new ones and the new fans eat the old fans and they, you know."

-

bruce: "i don't wear jeans, i wear pajamas."

-

bruce: "it's that english thing of, you know, if there's a murder going on next door to you, they go 'do you mind killing him a little more quietly?'"

janick: "wait a minute, i live over the road from you , i would save you. i would come over and save you."

bruce: "yeah, but that's probably because you're from the north, you see. we're both from the north, so we're different to londoners."

-

bruce: "steve, are you warm enough? i can put some heat on if you want."

-

bruce(to the people seeing their show for the first time): "all i can say is we're a friendly bunch, really. most of the time. and we don't exclude anybody. brothers, sisters, welcome to the maiden family."

-

bruce: "because the one thing that all of us stand for, you know, this is family. it's not one nation, this is not one race, this is not one religion. this is all religions, every race, every person, every gender. there used to be two, now there's a few more. we are all family in this together, everybody is welcome. and the answer to the bullshit going on out there is not to be full of hatred, it's to be full of love and light and music and a lot of beer."

-

bruce: "i was so nervous tonight before we came on, i very nearly shit myself"

-

bruce: "i've never understood all these bands that say "yeah man i got into a band cause i wanted to take lots of drugs and i wanted to do this". if you want to do that, just, you know, go and do it somewhere else, but don't mess up my world because what we do here, to us, is really important and it's really important to loads and loads of kids that come and see us."

-

bruce(about when he first joined the band): "i started off, i sort of went "look! for a start, don't expect me to get dressed up in all that black leather gear and all that and cut all my hair off because i'm not the same as the previous singer. i've got my own ideas about what should happen and if you don't like it, (folds arms) stuff it!""

-

interviewer: "so adrian, how important is that respect to you?"

janick: (starts to answer nicely despite being called by the wrong name)

bruce: (interrupts) "it's REALLY important that you know that this is not adrian. you know, cause you're supposed to be the journalist and you obviously don't know your ass from your elbow. his name is janick."

-

bruce(drunk): "STAR TREK! IT'S CAPTAIN FUCKING KIRK! MY LAST WORDS, BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!"

-

bruce(i am providing no context for this one): would it confuse you if anything happens out of sequence? like you wipe your bum with your razor or something like that?

and that's all for now. there are so many of these, i could stretch this answer out for a whole week but i'll make myself stop. (i would be thrilled if anybody added more to this list though. or if anybody corrected me if i got anything wrong)

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

[the-mad-starker]

Paint My Wings With Your Heat

Mads💗:  wingfic! Wingfic! I'm very excited to write this with @starkerkeyz​ and what should've been a one-shot got… a whole lot longer. But that seems the norm. Hope you guys enjoy the intro!

Keyz 💖: Wingfic has been so fun! I’m glad it was brought up in starker and that Mads agreed to rp it with me. This one-shot definitely grew but I think you’re all going to love it!Tumblr note: also check out Keyz's awesome moodboard in this post!!

WC: 3898

(AO3 Link)

Also check out Keyz's awesome moodboard in this post!!

Notes: ABO dynamics, intersex omegas, wing kink, in-flight fucking, knotting, courting, soulmate au

💗💖💗💖

Tony rubs at his nose and squints harder at the screen. His nose has been tickling at him on and off and endlessly in between ever since Peter stepped out for- something. He isn’t sure what. Or when, really. But he does know that this code's going to work for him by the end of the night or he would sacrifice DUM-E to Thor for inspiration. 

Tony smiles at the thought of Thor playing fetch with his boy and then rubs his tickling nose and turns his head to the side. He isn’t sure why (he's actually in the middle of reading that, thanks) but then his eyes land on the feather. 

It’s a soft gray and white. It looks innocent enough except that Tony can smell the enticing scent of omega and mate from a mile off. 

It makes his blood quicken in his veins and Tony snatches it up before he can think better of it. He runs the oils over the tips of his fingers and shivers from the low sheen left behind. He nearly touches those same fingertips to his wrist when he gets ahold of himself. 

Peter’s left him a beacon feather. 

Or, more probably, he’s accidentally shed one, not knowing the significance. It can be hard to realize how potent a reaction the scent can have on an alpha, especially if it’s an omega’s first mating season. 

Like Peter’s.

Tony puts the feather down (reluctantly) and pointedly wipes his fingers on his pants instead of his body. 

He needs to be respectful. Peter probably has no idea what that signaled to Tony. How very tempting it would be to accept that kind of offer and roost away with Peter all season, fucking him full of their fledglings for the year. Gods. Peter would make the best mother to Tony’s young.

But he needs to know what he's getting into. 

Tony could… show him. If he wants. Play mating flights could be performed in any one of the gyms. Play mating could be done here, in the lab. 

It could be done as soon as Peter gets back. 

Tony glances at the feather. Touches it. Licks his lips and strokes a single fingertip down the shaft. 

He’ll put it on the table. Peter is young and naive about some things, but he deserves the option to choose to learn. Tony hopes he says yes with an adjustment of his pants. 

Outside the lab, Peter peers in through the clear glass walls. His wings rustle around him nervously and he's fiddling with one of the primary feathers.

He lets go of it once he realizes what he's doing. It's a bad habit Peter has but he's always messed with his feathers instead of preening when he gets nervous.

He feels like he has the perfect excuse to be nervous though. He's shed his very first beacon feather and even though he thinks it's so… mediocre looking, he left it right on Tony's lab table.

Peter experiences a roller coaster of emotions when his boss finally notices the feather but then his heart sinks. Tony had handled it like it was… offensive. Barely touching it and wiping away any residual oil on his pants.

He can literally feel his heart sink all the way to his stomach then down through the soles of his feet and even further than that. His wings droop but then he fluffs them up, trying to cheer himself up.

He doesn't want to smell upset or anxious. Maybe… Maybe Tony's just not looking for a mate. Yet.

That's what he tells himself when he reenters the lab, carrying the paperwork he retrieved earlier.

He holds it close to his chest, tucking his wings even closer to his body. He's gotten better at maneuvering around the lab, but he still has an embarrassing tendency to knock something over.

"I got the reports," Peter says with a cheerful chirp. "Made sure they sent the right ones this time, Mr. Stark."

Maybe he could… just slip the beacon feather back into his pocket or something…? Minimize the embarrassment he already feels.

“Peter!” Tony says his name like he’s been caught doing something wrong. 

He swivels around in his chair and flares his wings out automatically, alpha to omega, exactly like he’d been planning not to do. He's supposed to bring the topic up calmly and professionally, not present his interest immediately like a rutting alpha with no manners. 

Peter almost drops the reports at the presentation but his grip tightens so much that his knuckles turn white. The bright colors of Tony's wings have always mesmerized him and he gapes stupidly in response to the display.

His own wings flutter but he's too shocked to do anything else.

Tony brings his fiery red wings back to heel, the bright gold coloring flashing at the tips of his primaries like metallic paint as they curl forward and around his body. 

“Well. Um. Sorry about that, Peter, but I wanted to mention, I think you accidentally left this in here,” Tony says as he picks up the beacon feather delicately. He holds it out to Peter and hopes his eyes don’t show how much he wants to eat him up. 

Peter's eyes drop to the offered feather.

Accidentally… The words are there on the tip of his tongue, an outright denial that there isn't anything accidental about it. But he bites his lip because if Tony's trying to give him a less embarrassing out, he should take it.

He reaches for it, intent on tucking it away apologizing profusely but the look in Tony's eyes makes his breath catch. He's never seen that look before and his brows twitch, trying to decipher it.

The alpha keeps talking though and Peter perks up in attention.

“And, well, I don’t know how much you know about beacon feathers,” Tony hadn’t known anything. His father and mother hadn’t thought it important to teach an alpha. “But they’re really important. And they can… They can affect an alpha. Make them want you. And I just wanted to make sure you knew about that so you didn’t leave them and attract an alpha you don’t want, you know?”

Tony’s pupils dilate as he goes on. His voice doesn’t change to reflect his inner lust; he’s too practiced at controlling himself.

Peter nods dumbly, fingers closing around the tip of the beacon feather. He still doesn't tug it, waits for Tony to release it since these delicate things are so fragile.

He's not sure where this conversation is going but there's an undercurrent of something coming. Something exciting.

“And I wanted to offer, entirely optional, if you needed or wanted a mentor for a play mating session, or to run a practice mating flight with, I wouldn’t mind helping you out. This will be your first season, right? I want you to be prepared and comfortable.” Tony says and thinks I want you to be mine. 

He doesn’t think that’d go over very well. He’s halfway convinced Peter will be disgusted by this offer of play mating. 

Peter is so young and beautiful; ripe and fertile and ready for the picking. 

Tony wants Peter to have all the tools he needs to pick the best alpha to father his fledglings every season. 

The offer is even more shocking than Tony's abrupt presentation.

Peter feels… faint. The papers slip from his arm and falls, scattering all over them.

"Oh, God," Peter bemoans, dropping to the floor and scrabbling to pick them up. His face flushes a cherry red.  "I'm– I'm so sorry, I'm so– clumsy. I–"

“It’s okay, kid. Here, I’ve got you.” Tony hops out of his chair and then pops down to begin scooping up the papers, thinking Peter was mortified with his offer. He’s clearly read the signals wrong. Damn. Damn, damn, damn. 

No matter how old you get, rejection is always embarrassing and Tony could feel his cheeks heating as red as his wings. 

Peter’s wings settle around him, the very bottoms pooling around him on the floor. His heart is beating so fast and he almost thinks he made the whole thing up in his head.

Tony, proposing playmating? To him? Practice flights?

Abruptly, he jerks his head up with the realization that he hasn't answered the man.

"It will be my first… season…" Peter says shyly. 

“I don’t want you to feel nervous about it. The TV shows can make it seem intense, and it is, but it’s also… well, the poets and the scholars all talk about how beautiful and natural it is, but honestly? It’s pretty damn fun, too. And I just want you to be comfortable going into it.” Tony schools his expression and sets the papers on the desk and out of the way. 

He keeps his wings to himself and very pointedly doesn’t touch the younger man. No pressure. Peter can reject him with no repercussions. 

Peter fights against the urge to use a wing to cover his face. He shouldn't… His end goal is to have Tony as a mate, not as a mentor. But then again… Maybe… Maybe he could prove how good of a mate he could be and maybe then Tony would want him…?

"I think I'd like that, sir," Peter bites his bottom lip, "If you, um, don't mind… You don't have to either, Mr. Stark… I could… learn on my own or…"

There are local groups that help guide omegas like him. Group flights and classes… He shudders at the thought of attending them and would probably rather just… not fly at all.

His crush on his boss is too strong. His wings and his heart won't let him get caught by anyone else.

It takes Tony longer than it should to register what Peter means. His eyes widen and his wings mantle hopefully, eager for this sweet smelling omega. 

“I don’t mind. I like teaching you.” Tony says with a smile. 

Peter learns everything he sets his mind to faster than anyone else Tony’s had the chance to work with yet. He’s incredible and such a kind soul on top. 

“Whenever you want, just let me know. I’ll teach, but you lead.” 

There. Break up the power structure between them a little and maybe Tony wouldn’t feel so guilty. Peter’s of age but he’s so young (this is his very first season!) and Tony doesn’t want to corrupt him. 

He does sort of wish he could take the feather back though. Maybe make a necklace out of it. Treasure it, when Peter picked some other alpha closer to his age season by season. 

Peter's wide-eyed by then. He drops his eyes, mind racing.

What does he want…? Is it really just as easy as Peter opening his mouth and telling the older man, "Sex. I want to know about sex. I want to know about alphas and not just about alphas but about you–"

The color in his cheeks deepens and he squirms.

He dares a peek at the older man. This is entirely embarrassing. It's taken them months to get used to each other and Peter's never been so shy around Tony but of course, revealing his feelings and being completely misunderstood… It'd bring him down but his heart's beating in excitement.

"I don't know what I want," Peter admits. Besides you. "I don't know how the mating flights work or even… What attracts an alpha? These–" He holds up his poor, rejected beacon feather. "Is it… Is this one not good? Shape? Color? Oil's too… I don't know. Why didn't you… like it?"

He wants to know what Tony likes but he can't outright ask him. He looks at him, hopeful for answers.

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Tony says immediately. 

He isn’t sure what gave the kid that impression. It’s one of the most distracting things in the world; it actually managed to pull Tony Stark from his work in under 5 minutes. 

Tony extends a hand and trails a knuckle up the shaft, wings rustling as Peter’s oil rich pheromones sink into his callouses like a perfume. Tony inhales deeply and feels the urge to run the golden edges of his wings across Peter’s still attached mating feathers for more.

Peter's hit, suddenly and unexpectedly, with a jolt of arousal when Tony touches the feather. Even when it's no longer attached to him, this simple act feels indescribably intimate, as though Tony's touching him directly.

He presses his wings even closer to his body, trying to trap the rising scent of arousal. He doesn't know if he's succeeded.

“It smells- you smell- really good,” Tony parts his lips and drops his hand before he tries taking the beacon feather for himself. “But I can’t keep it when you don’t know what it means or what it’ll do to me.”

He’d start following Peter around, tailing him with the instinct to collect more feathers and keep any rivals away. He’d get the urge to scent him, the urge to rub their wings together. It would be like Peter tying Tony to himself with a rope until the feather loses its scent or the season hits and Peter accepts or rejects him. 

Somehow, Tony doesn’t think Peter wants a shadow in his forties with bad knees and bad memories following him around like a horny, winged puppy.

Peter's breath has turned shallow and subconsciously, his wings fan out around him. The subtle scent of aroused omega starts to taint the air and he blushes when he catches it. He can't undo it though so looks from Tony to the feather and back again.

He bites his lip again, wondering if he may be going too far. But they've just agreed to do this so maybe not?

Tony’s eyes snap from the feather to Peter’s lips. His wings rustle and shift into a half spread, nearly vibrating in anticipation. 

"What can it do to– to alphas?" Peter manages not to outright ask about Tony but that's essentially the question.

He knows these feathers are left for potential mates, but his senses as a mature omega have only recently sharpened. All the… scents are still confusing for him to interpret. His feathers aren't pretty, at all. He has, previously, bemoaned the fact, so sure that the dull whites and greys would do nothing to attract a mate like Tony.

But maybe, he's wrong. The way Tony eyes the feather makes his chest tighten and his insides want to melt. He wants to offer the feather, wants to tuck it into Tony's dark hair and just have it known that this alpha is his.

The strength of those thoughts are almost terrifying in its intensity but to Peter, it feels right 

“Oh, Peter.” Tony stands up straighter at the smell of aroused omega combined with that innocent question. He watches him intently, shoulders rolling and eyes lidding in calculation. All at once, the half spread of his wings goes from inviting to predatory, the metallic gold color at the ends of his wings promising to envelop the smaller gray-white of Peter’s own. 

Tony’s wings quiver for the hunt.

“It will make me want to court you. Remind me of you, tempt me. All through the day.” Tony’s voice has gone dark and warm. He wants, very badly, to pin Peter down and show him what his mate scent has done to him.

Peter leans in close like Tony's very words lure him in. His lips softly part, his heart picking up speed cause he very much likes the picture Tony's painting.

“I’ll want to follow you around. I probably will, since we work together. I’ll want to provide you food, and since we’re so close, I’ll actually do it, too. I’ll touch you.” Tony’s bigger, golden primaries stroke through Peter’s, feathers interlocking and dragging through each other. Tony’s eyes were almost all black with his arousal.

The only reason Peter hasn’t clued in on Tony’s response is his inexperience with scenting on the alpha/omega level and the fact he hasn’t looked down at Tony’s groin. 

Peter shudders in clear ecstasy. His wings have felt so sensitive lately. It has to do with the shedding and that mating season is so soon… He may not know much about mating habits, but his body seems to know something.

The muscles flex, making the individual rows of feathers fan out more. It makes it easier for an alpha to spread his scent, easier for Tony to leave his own oils along Peter's whites and greys.

“I’ll want to touch you all the time. If we didn’t work together, it would just be an urge I felt whenever I smelled the feather. A growing bond. But since we do work together,” Tony’s voice is even deeper now. Husky. “I’ll probably be unconsciously scenting you. Touching you whenever you’re in reach.”

He drags his golden edges against Peter again. A part of him wishes he really was dipped in paint so that he could leave streaks of gold claim behind wherever he touches. 

“I’ll be compelled to. The more compatible we are, the stronger the urges. The more beacon feathers you give me,” Here Tony’s voice nearly broke with longing. “If you give me any more, that is. They would have a compounding effect. More feeding. More nesting. More touching. More everything.”

Peter shivers at the words. It's almost a promise …

He wants all that. Everything. The courting, the scenting… He'd give every single beacon feather he had just to have Tony look at him. But he only has the one in his hands.

With a pounding heart, he looks at his mentor with a blush on his cheeks.

"Are we compatible, Mr. Stark…?" He asks and he can't bear to look Tony in the eye. He shakes his head profusely. "Y-You don't have to answer that. That was probably so awkward."

He thrusts the beacon feather at the older man.

"You can, um, keep it if you want," Peter forges on. "There isn't anyone– I mean, if you're going to… teach me… I want to give it to you… If you want it…"

His ears must be such a bright red color but besides feeling embarrassed over his fumbling words and actions, Peter feels like he's in the clouds. Just a slight twitch of his muscles and his wings spread out in offering, hoping…

Tony looks at the feather with yearning. He shouldn’t. He gets obsessive as a personality trait and with such easy access to Peter, he’ll be scenting him and getting the urge to mount him non-stop in the weeks to come. 

That thought has him remembering his offer about practice flights and play mating with a twitch of the tent in his pants. He could imagine pinning Peter down and surrounding him with Tony’s red and gold wings, enveloping him in Tony’s alpha dominance and posturing. 

If play mating is still on the table, then he needs to consider Peter mature enough to make his own decision regarding who he gives his beacon feathers to. 

Plus, the kid looks so hopeful with his big puppy eyes and fluffy grey-white feathers. 

“We’re compatible.” Tony plucks the feather up out of his grasp before he can think better of it. He’s never liked lying to the people he likes. 

The relief that washes over him feels like a cool waterfall. The confirmation of what he's hoped for since he became an intern here sends him back to cloud nine.

They're compatible and Peter wants to step forward and get a good scenting in. He wants to learn Tony's alpha scent. It's only fair now that he's becoming familiar with Peter's own emerging omega scent.

He feels giddy with excitement, but that all changes with the next thing the alpha does.

Tony runs the coveted feather over his wrist and then his throat. He sighs softly. Peter’s mate scent was so invigorating from off of his own skin. 

Tony looks at Peter with eyes nearly swallowed by pupil.

All that bubbly excitement turns to molten hot heat when the alpha trails his feather over his skin. That… That has to mean something, right? His brain just short-circuits because using Peter's feather like that… it seems almost indecent.

Peter stares back, breath caught, nose tickled by the scent of something that turns his brain to mush. His wings quiver with a slight tremble and they've never done that before.

“Peter. Thank you for this. I want to make sure you’re prepared. Anything you need, I’ll get it for you. Any questions, I’ll answer. Your first season is going to be amazing.” Tony says, taking it upon himself to make it so. For Peter.

"I–" 

Peter isn't even sure what to say because he may not be in heat yet, but it feels like he's on the very verge. Every breath he pulls in, he recognizes more and more the situation he's found himself in. 

And it excites him.

But it also terrifies him because he has absolutely no idea what he's doing.

Tony advances a step and then brings his other foot level. His wings spread out, red and gold spilling around them like a curtain of feathers. He wants to knock wings with the young omega, wrestle and rub their scents together until he could maneuver Peter down and under him, where he belongs. 

Tony’s wings shake with leashed need. The golden tips tremble in coiled anticipation.

The air is spiced with a deeper scent, something dark and rich– different from an omega's. It makes Peter feel hot, almost burning and he fidgets in place, wings spreading even wider to dissipate some of the heat blooming inside him.

He's smelling Tony, Peter realizes, and it's with a dawning sense of horror that he feels his insides turn molten and he's going to–

"T-Thank you, sir," he chokes out. "I trust you– I… Thank you! I need to… go pick up the equipment from floor 60."

Tony fans his wings out in mirror to Peter’s; shifts his weight onto the balls of his feet. The painted gold ends of his primaries trail the ground. They shake from the shivery omegan need flavoring the air around them. 

Expectant. 

Ripe.

Peter takes off in a sprint towards the open balcony doors. Who needs the elevators when they can free fall towards the necessary floor? Flying too much during the workday would tire anyone out, but Peter thinks this is necessary. 

He needs the biting cold of the rushing wind to cool him off before he actually slicks up right in front of his boss.

Peter either isn’t thinking or doesn’t realize what he’s done (or doesn’t know how to fly indoors because he’s a good boy that follows the rules) because he stays on foot.

Tony’s body comes alive with the chase, sudden and unstoppable with the need to hunt his potential mate down and lay his claim. His skin tingles and flushes and between his legs his cock grows thicker in excitement. 

There’s no way Tony can hold back. No stopping the all consuming instinct thrumming through every vein, bone and muscle. In less than a second it’s like he had become a force of nature. 

Tony scoops his wings through the air and launches after his young mate.